Isn’t it funny how…
No matter how successful we become, how much we mature, how many places we go in life…
There’s still this instinct, a primal urge, to fit in somewhere, somehow.
I’ve been pondering this a lot lately.
It’s like the high school cafeteria scene, with its neatly-organized tables of jocks, popular girls, and outcasts never really goes away. Rather, the cast of characters just changes clothes (well, most of them do) and grows more facial hair.
No matter how old we are, we still have this innate desire to be a part of a club.
A clique.
An identity.
A label.
A classification.
It’s quite the driving force, if you think about it.
To be honest, I’ve never fit in much of anywhere. I’ve been that way since I was a young girl, in fact. Sometimes my lack of fitting into whatever cookie-cutter mold was expected of me was my choice, and sometimes it wasn’t. Sometimes I’ve flaunted it, while other times I’ve sat on the sidelines, uninvited, rationalizing why I was being ignored. Again.
After several decades of navigating the world of being a weirdo, not fitting in has become a part of who I am. It’s become my identity. And this propensity towards smashing conventional cookie-cutter molds is what led me to homesteading, essential oils, and entrepreneurship.
But considering how all three of those things have been absolutely life-changing for me in the best of ways, I ain’t complaining. Not one bit.
Homesteading has been especially cathartic for me, as it gave some legitimacy to the hodgepodge of weird interests I had. I’ve enjoyed being a part of, and helping to build, this modern-homesteading community. It’s near and dear to my heart, and there’s nothing I love more than welcoming newbies to the ‘fold.’ (See, there’s that innate human urge to create a club again…)
One of the main messages I’ve been preaching about homesteading for the last six years on this blog, is the beauty of flexibility in this lifestyle.
When I really distill it down, modern homesteading, for me, is about:
- Becoming a producer instead of just a consumer
- Getting in touch with your food sources
- Creating the life you want, and getting out of these crazy societal ruts
How you chose to apply those principles, and what it looks like for each person will be drastically, beautifully different. That’s the magic of this movement.
On Stereotypes and Homesteading.
Where am I going with this? Allow me to explain…
Lately, I’ve been getting some emails or comments in relation to the lifestyle I portray here on the blog. Some have been well-intentioned, some have not.
It started a while back with the criticism I received for having a dishwasher, and has trickled along in comments like these:
- Why did you decorate your house like that? It’s way too modern. It’s not old-fashioned enough.
- Why are you buying food at the store? I thought you were a homesteader who grows their own food?
- If you were a real homesteader, you’d make your own lye for soap.
- I can’t believe you’re using a skillet that’s not cast iron.
In essence, they are silly little comments. And truly, my feelings aren’t hurt, so please don’t feel sorry for me, or think you need to come to my defense. (Admittedly, I may have rolled my eyes slightly at the cast iron comment, though…) Getting a variety of opinions and responses is just a part of this blogging gig– I accept it.
But it’s interesting, isn’t it? How even though this homesteading movement was created by the rebels and outcasts and weirdos and societal misfits, we still try to create rules of what constitutes a real homesteader, and what doesn’t.
As if there is some mythical panel of Homesteading Gods somewhere declaring what is or isn’t legit.
“All in favor of allowing 2.75 chickens and 1.5 raised beds to count as an urban homestead, say aye…”
Holy moly, thank goodness that’s not the case.
But there is a homesteading stereotype of sorts that floats around… And you might be surprised to know, even as a “homestead blogger”, I don’t exactly fit the stereotype. Why do I feel the need to tell you this? Mainly because I’m a big fan of transparency, but also because I desire to be the same person both online and offline. And sometimes it’s easy for there to be an unintentional lapse of communication from one screen to another.
So, true to my rebellious nature, and not wanting to be boxed in, even to my beloved homesteading, I want to lay it all out on the table for you today.
I’m declaring my independence of any perceived homesteading stereotypes or notions, and announcing that I’m a homesteader, but on my own terms, just so no one is ever surprised.
So what does that look like, you ask?
- It means if you were to swing by the house this summer, you’d likely see me wearing flip flops and a visor, not farming boots and a prairie bonnet.
- It means you might see me talking on my cell phone while milking the cow.
- It means I have a sweet dishwasher and a washing machine, and I love them.
- It means we use artificial insemination to breed our milk cow sometimes, because the logistics of getting/keeping a bull during breeding season is almost impossible.
- It means sometimes I feed my animals grain if they need it to stay healthy– even though I prefer grass fed meat and milk when possible.
- It means I’ve had some colossal homestead failures, and I’m not ashamed to admit it…
- It means that sometimes I buy chips and bread when I’m really really busy or overwhelmed with life.
- It means other times I make the most delicious homemade bread, and then smear it with store-bought butter because the cow is dry.
- It means I buy organic when it makes sense. But not always.
- It means sometimes I buy fruits or veggies at the store because either (a) I can’t grow them (hello, I’m talking about you, bananas…) or because (b) I kinda suck at gardening sometimes.
- It means if you were to come check out my super-cool deep mulch garden, you’d see some weeds around the edges (and probably in the middle too, ahem)
- It means while I am passionate proper money management, I choose abundance, rather than scarcity, and I don’t pinch pennies to the point of driving myself crazy.
- It means I’ll happily enjoy the company of friends at a restaurant, even if I know the food isn’t “farm to fork” or local.
- It means on the busiest of days I don’t milk, and just leave the calf on the cow.
- It means I love homesteading with all my heart, but I also love entrepreneurship and online business and get just as much of a kick out of attending an online marketing class as I do a gardening seminar.
- It means sometimes I do awesome Little House on the Prairie-esque activities in the evenings, and other times I just watch Netflix.
There. I feel better now.
Does that mean I don’t feel slightly giddy when the warm smell of the barn first hits my nostrils during early-morning chores, or savor the taste of a carefully roasted and seasoned homegrown poultry, or stare in wonder at the seedlings I started myself that somehow magically grew into supper? Nope. I still live for all of those experiences.
But I’ve learned I’m not a purist. And I never will be. I’ve decided I’m going to do the best I can with what I have. I refuse to cause myself unnecessary stress, just for the sake of fitting into some mythical, “perfect homesteader” stereotype, that (let’s be honest) isn’t really a ‘thing’ anyway.
And if it means my homesteading-self will be a freak in the world of homesteading, then so be it. I’m good with that.
I invite you to be good with it too. If your homesteading journey doesn’t look exactly like the books, or if you aren’t quite fitting the Laura Ingalls Wilder mold like you think you should, let it go. Stop stressing, stop comparing, and embrace being out of the box. Like, really being out of the box. Even the homesteading box. Because being out of the box is what attracted us all to this homesteading gig in the first place anyway, isn’t it?
It’s not a race or a beauty pageant or a popularity contest. Create your own version of homesteading, in all its glory, with all its quirks and inadequacies. The journey belongs to YOU– no one else. Get a little bit better every day, but do it your way. And when you finally let go of perfect? It feels pretty darn good.
So put away the prairie bonnet (unless you really love it), and give yourself permission to break some stereotypes. I’ll be right alongside ya.
I’ve been thinking about putting this very subject into words and you’ve done a great job here. Couldn’t have said it better myself!
It is funny how you get this version of snobbery in any walk of life. There are always going to be people who need to put others down to feel better about themselves. It is a little sad but the most important thing is to recognise it is simply other’s insecurities and it can only effect you if you choose to let it.
We need to take pride in our own versions of whatever path we take and that is what makes them valuable and so very special!
My husband and I just bought 5 acres in Pembrokeshire, Wales and have no idea what we are doing but my god it’s going to be one big adventure and we don’t even know the rules!
All the very best wishes
X
I always remind myself, “focus on what you can do, not on what you can’t”. Amen! We don’t have to be 100% or nothing. There can be a very happy middle ground, that can always be changing and progressing as we go:). Thanks for the transparency! It drives me crazy we all try to pretend we are perfect…yet I still find myself falling into it too. Each time we women are honest with each other, it can take a huge pressure off all of us. Let’s just be REAL! We are amazing, perfect or not:)
you have just described country women / farm wives. We have been around forever…….it just doesn’t sound as cool as ” homesteading “.
Great article! It goes for so many aspects of life. Homeschooling is the first that comes to mind. Being able to blend homeschooling and public schools to fit the needs of each child, and both parties focusing on doing their best with what they can do to educate a child, can mean a lot of success for that student.
You are my hero…
Wonderful read! I learn a lot from you and enjoy your story of life very much. We would starve if we had to depend on my gardening skills for our survival. But I love to grow things and creating leaf mold or compost has helped a lot. We have tons of leaves here in R. I. and live on a rocky ledge filled property. We have some raised beds now and some chickens. Feels good to be doing something you love and getting some food to share with my kids and sisters. Wildlife is always a challenge here as well. If everyone just did a little bit the world would be better for it. Anyhow keep up the good work. I think you are amazing and really enjoy following on here.
I have always felt the same way being the odd duck out, but like you said I sometimes put myself there. Reality is I really like being in our own bubble on the farm and not having to deal with what society wants from us. Blaze your own path and follow your heart.
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Well said. I honestly rolled my eyes at all those critisisms because …so what?! If someone prefers one way over another, that’s their choice and we need not be bound to it. You are doing a great job, keep it up!
Thank you!
Awesome post. I am a strange homesteader as well. I had to accept that migraines don’t let me work outside. (Still trying out different things for solutions that work for me without a prescription.) This year we unintentionally took the year off from canning because we thought we were moving.
I am working on creating a copywriting business in the meantime. Writing is a part of who I am. Also just planted a late garden, in case we have a fall and early winter like last year where killing frost didn’t come until almost February. It’s nice to not worry about labels and stereotypes. Does it work for your family? Then you’re good!
Kat,
Do you get signs that a migraine is coming? I do. I usually get blurry/spotty vision before the headaches hits. If you get signs like these that indicate the very beginning, try a few steps I have found helpful.
Past Tense (by DoTerra) roller ball on back of neck and temples.
A drop of peppermint or frankincense (or both) on your thumb pressed to the roof of your mouth.
Drink 6-8 ounces of gatorade within a 5 minute time frame to re-hydrate.
Also, you can try squeezing the part of your hand between thumb and pointer finger.
About the migraines… my sister-in-law had them really bad and she has them no more. She swears by making green tea with ginger root in it and says that cured her headaches. She uses 3 tea bags and a big chunk of ginger. Just a thought and worth a try. Good luck!
Have you tried the faith piercing for migraines? I if you get it done by someone who knows the right location it can work wonders. The day I got it the 4 day old migraine I was having went away as soon as the needle went through my ear. Everyone I have told about it who has gotten it has had great relief from their migraines. The only trigger I have left now is lack of sleep. It’s a great nonpharmacological method to prevent migraines.
Amen! This is a wonderful post. There’s nothing wrong with enjoying the modern conveniences we have. It’s all about doing what you can, and knowing you have the skills to do more if you ever lost the luxury of those modern things. Not a darn thing wrong with that! 🙂
Preach! I always feel awkward calling myself a homesteader because we’re just starting out and we enjoy modern conveniences too, like air conditioning! And a washing machine! As nice as it would be to be completely self-sufficient, with 5.5 kids under the age of 7 and a husband with a full-time job, that ain’t happening! Heck, even Pa Ingalls hired men with new-fangled machines to thresh his wheat – if he could change with the times, so can we 😉
Homesteading.. what that means for me is remaining independent enough with the hello of my husband as nd our friends to remain in our own home growing a few herbs and vegetables with the major assistance of our 45year old gardener Dodson who needs to garden to stay sane. I am an Episcopal priest retired from active parish work but still connected. Two major strokes/brain bleeds have damaged my mobility but not much else. Thanks be to a God. I enjoy my little bitty.front yard garden here in the suburbs. Vegetables and herbs in the front yard. Help yourself to my runaway mint or a sprig or two of rosemary. Happy to share.
Amen Sista. I’ve had to learn that doing it all made all of it too hard and no fun. I bought bread. I felt guilty. I got over it. I’ve learned that some things are more fun and it’s OK to concentrate on the fun stuff. Cows. More cows. If I have to buy lettuce from the store I’ll live. At least I’m still eating. This is a good lesson in letting go of the rules which is why most of us chose this life to begin with.
You go girl!!! Glad you have the courage and acceptance of yourself to post the wonderful statement of who you are. The folks who are negative are only upset with themselves for what ever reason. I love your interesting info and tips and am glad you use modern things so you can do all these interesting things. I’m 67, married 49 years and still working on how to manage all that life can send us. Look forward to more great posts from you!!!!
I grew up on a self sustaining farm where my dad plowed with a horse, we all worked every day, hauling wood, working in the garden, feeding animals, butchering animals, milking cows, canning, freezing and sharing with all the neighbors. My mother made all our clothes. We never had a new car. We never wanted for anything. We were not wealthy but we didn’t know it. I thought everyone lived like this. my parents are now in ther 80s and still plant a garden to that is way too big. They still have farm animals and they still share by setting up a produce table so their neighbors can drop by and pick up what they want.
Thanks for sharing! I often feel awkward calling myself a homesteader because I eat mostly vegan and only raise chickens for meat on a small scale for the meat eaters in my family. But, I work hard producing food on this urban land of ours! I don’t have a cow but I do permaculture garden year round to feed my family. Vegan homesteader, how’s that for an oxymoron. I love your approach to homesteading!
Hey– I think that works just fine! Vegan homesteader– own it, girl!
Thank you so much for your transparency! It is a good refreshing reminder that we are all human and makes me feel so much better especially at a time when I was feeling overwhelmed about not being able to do it all – especially with 3 little kiddos running around! And a good reminder that my homesteading is what works for me and that’s ok! Thank you!
Lovely! I love that 307 pillow too. Makes me want to add some Wyoming to my new home in Colorado. I miss my home state!
Isn’t that fun! I copied the idea from a decorating blog, haha. 😉
Authentic! – Being true to your most noble Self! That’s what I feel people are so hungry for – The “homesteading” direction you’ve taken appears intentional, but I’m grateful your spontaneous enough to let it show up as it may and have the courage to be transparent about it. And it looks like you’ve done that Jill – you’re a master of keeping the element of surprise in your posts cutting new turf in a land that most people will only enjoy in their dreams . Love the photo of you and the round hay bales chicken & computer – Again thanks for your insights.
Jill,
I find it amazing how the same threads run through similar lives, no matter where they live. Apparently we have been on same wavelength again. I just finished posting a similar blog post on my site after some “conversations” last week. http://modernmissouripioneers.com/2016/07/to-belong-to-this-life/ Then I jump onto Facebook and see the link to this post. We didn’t say it the same way….but we said the same thing. Similarly, everyone’s homestead life looks different and fits what they need. Well done, once again. You are a constant inspiration to me and many others. Hugs to you and your family! <3
Fantastic blog girl! Stereotypes are abundant in agriculture and homesteading. My husband and I left the busy city of Boston to move to TN and start homesteading and we get that type of feedback very often from our northern friends AND southern friends. “You can’t have a 2.5 acre farm”, “Where’s your cow?” and my favorite “I could never do stuff like that”. Homesteading is about making whatever small changes you can for your family to become more self reliant. It doesn’t necc. mean living off grid or searching for the metaphorical time machine. Thank you for writing what we are all thinking.
One of your best posts. I have been living on my farm now for 15 years. Quit my busy advertising agency job to relax in the country. The hardest part for me is having to travel so far in order to sell our produce. Funny what you wrote about the cell phone and milking the cow. Many times people ask me what is that noise when I am talking in one of the chicken coops. There is a certain calmness to be able to sit with animals and listen to them. My life is a vacation every day.
As I’ve noticed throughout my 64 years, few things are exempt from those people who say they are “helping” (yet are the same ones whom refuse to pick up a shovel and really do so) that repeatedly offer “advice” in terms of “you should do this” and “that’s not how I WOULD do that” yet if questioned they have no reasons for such other than the famous “that’s how so and so does/did it” and often, not even that. It is often simply based on their own priorities or their own (REALLY) limited experience yet, because THEY would do something “this” way, they assume that it’s the “right” way……and the best way.
Even though trying something a different way and/or trying to change our lives by moving to a more self sustaining level is an enjoyable and very rewarding part of our lives it seems the majority of our friends fall into one of two categories. They either “know more” about it than anyone else (knowledge they somehow absorbed throughout life even though they have never done it themselves) or they “know” you are not doing it right because “they have never seen anyone do it like that” previously.
So many people just make this such a large part of their personality, it seems that they cannot help themselves. Few realize that stating “that’s not how I’d do it” indicates to the other person that the speaker is 1. Smarter than the person spoke to and 2. The person spoke to should accept that fact and 3. The person being told such is supposed to accept being told “they are wrong” because………..that is exactly the message being delivered.
“That’s not how I’d do it” blatantly tells the person spoke to that “you are doing it wrong”.
No longer being a real docile older man I often immediately quiz the speaker as to their experience, expertise and training on the subject. The “advice giver” simply by answering these question quickly realizes they do not have any expertise in the field……..and should keep their mouth shut UNLESS they wish to ASK QUESTIONS…
Then and only then will I take the time to share what I have learned…….so far.
No…..not a lot come back, before you ask LOL
God Bless
Oh so true…..our “current” son in law fits your post to a tee……he “wanted” the country life, thought it was so cool to sit on the back porch with us on the weekends they could get up here from the big city. Boy wasn’t it great with the garden and the chickens and the fruit trees…..once we gave them an acre of land on our property and he saw what it really takes to “live the good life” he wants no part of it other than to enjoy the fruits of our labor. We don’t do it the way he thinks it should be done and I am just a know it all that has to have things done my way (it is my farm) while he sits on his lazy behind eating fresh eggs, fresh fruit and veggies from our farm all the while not holding down a job but also not helping do a damn thing around here. It makes him feel like a “field hand” to have to help do anything. If it weren’t for the grandkids I’d kick his sorry butt off the property in a second.
Thanks for letting me vent about that…. We love homesteading and are very grateful,to be able to do so. Hubby works out of town and is home on weekends so I do most of the work with a little help from the grandkids.
Absolutely love your analysis! Such wisdom comes with age and experience. That is a comfort in the golden or I might add “rusty” years. lol I have found that people sometimes just like to hear themselves talk.
Don’t pay any mind to the negative talk. Your life is your own to live with joy.
God’s blessings,
Kathy Bevis
Thanks for keeping it real! You remind me Of myself!
Great post Jill. I get a lot of this too. You raise chickens and claim you don’t eat them? But you eat other types of meat? Even chicken? Just not those you raised? Isn’t that hypocritical?
I hear you. And I agree that we all define what our life should look like and no one should judge that. Every little bit we do for ourselves adds to our own sense of satisfaction and fulfillment, and makes us less of a consumer or taker in this society.
Oh, and we have a dishwasher too, but I want to rip it out and replace it with a wine fridge, if that makes you feel better.
Fantastic post Jill! My husband and I were drawn together over 27 years ago by the beat of our “different” drums, so to speak. We homeschool, have a small soap business made from store bought lye, keep bees and chickens on two acres, ( there used to be heritage turkeys and a goat herd but thats another story) try to grow what we can, put away what we are able, but don’t hesitate to grab a pizza on nights I am too pooped to cook. We live in a very small community that has come to accept us for our differences and quirks and sometimes even dance with us to our beat. (And I recently added essential oils to my home business?) Life is good.
Amen. I work full time while homesteading so I have to work to not be too hard on myself. I make my own laundry soap…..but using store bought ingredients. I wouldn’t trade my bread machine or dishwasher for anything. Your blog is enjoyable, and I found this post endeared you to me even more. You’ve got this rebel outcast girl on your team (see, I did the group thing and didn’t even mean too………)
Jill, started to read this article but those annoying banner ads kept popping up. It made the visit to this article unreadable. Know that advertising is important and part of the gig. I’m good with that. But this was too much. Just thought you should know. You are still my fav homestead site/guru (love Justin as well). No need to reply. I know you work hard and are concerned with quality. Just giving you some feedback I hope is useful.
Jim Gallagher
Fellow Homesteader
Press the four little lines to the left of the address at the very top and you will get reader view without. The ads.
Hey Jim,
So sorry about the annoying pop-ups. I always want the experience for my readers to be a positive one! I shouldn’t have pop-up ads per say, but I did have a banner at the very bottom of the screen on mobile devices. I’m assuming that’s what you were referring to. I did have my ad folks remove that a week or so ago, so hopefully it won’t bother you any more.
Well said..thank you for the transparency….and a good reminder that decisions don’t have to be all or nothing.
Bravo. Family and friends pick up on what is done out of genuineness or fakeness (artificially fitting a stereotype). Outsiders might be awed by the purist, but too intimidated to even try. Everyone starts somewhere, and the “all or nothing” idea is ludicrous. I love the outsider-lifestyle that I live, but more importantly, I want others, including my own children, to be inspired to blaze their own trail, not copy mine. I grow a LOT of food, but always buy mayonnaise. So sue me.
Amen! Great post. What I’ve come to learn over the years is that we all need to do what we feel called to do and never mind what other people say. We do a lot of things such as raising our own produce as well as chickens and pigs, but we also often buy ready-made bread, etc. We do what works for us.
Hello, i just want to say that we are beginning homesteaders. We are always learning new things and it takes a while to get it down. Last year i started a new job and when i was asked what i enjoyed doing outside of work i replied with “learning to homestead”. I have been asked silly questions and fun questions since then, but one comes to mind with this story. I was asked if it was ok with me for our office meeting if we ordered pizza, because ” you probably don’t eat that do you?” LOL uh, ya we still eat pizza. Sometimes it’s store purchased and sometimes its homemade. But, we are not aliens. Happy homesteading.
Nicely put!
I have an autoimmune disease that keeps me from working, which means I’m often alone 10- 12 hours a day while the hubby is at work. I’m often asked if I get lonely, but for the most part I really don’t because I keep myself busy. But the real reason I don’t get lonely is because I really don’t miss people and their comments. I used to have a neighbor that would question me everytime I went shopping if my husband knew I was out spending money. Even if all I bought was groceries, she’s ask me if my husband knew! I had another neighbor who would ask me why I decorated why I did, or why I wore a particular type of clothing. Or moms at my kids’ school who would ask really personal questions, or make comments on my childrens’ behavior and my parenting skills.
So, no I don’t get lonely. I rejoice in my solitude because it is void of stupid comments and it is pure bliss!!
I don’t live near those people anymore,
Everybody has their own way of doing things. It’s up to the individual to decide if they are a part of the problem, or a part of the solution. And it’s up to you to decide what that means!
Amen! We need to just “be the best you, you can be!” No labels, no rules, do what is right for YOU, and hold each other to a “standard”, unless it is “be good to each other”. Keep on being real Jill, Love it!!!!
I am with you 100%!!! Just because I know how to do so many things myself doesn’t mean I always have time or even inclination to do so. I am also a full time teacher who homeschooled my own children. I use the same oils as you but am also on a prescription medication. There’s no one right way to live our lives. I do fully believe that we are to do the best we can and I believe that our best life is filled with passion. Keep it up!!! You still have your fans?
PS I rushed into getting calves and got sick ones. Thanks to oils they are healthy and over 3 months old today. ?
Goodness Gill, it is like you wrote a message to me. 4 months into our brand new homestead life and I needed every word and ounce of encouragement that you poured out into this post. Thank you for being so honest and putting it all so eloquently into perspective!
Very well said! I’m new to the homesteading community but am NOT a purist by any means. What you do sounds super reasonable to me! ESPECIALLY if you have kids and didn’t grow up this way…we are paving our own path.
Well said! I have always marched to the beat of a different drummer. One of my students called me an “original” for the first time this past school year. I’ll take that as a compliment. Homesteading takes on a different look depending on where you are in life. My husband and I moved into the city 3 years ago and absolutely love it! I have a tiny garden in my backyard and get a thrill every time I pick cucumbers or cherry tomatoes for my salad. I am equally as excited to try all of the wonderful restaurants within walking distance of our home or shopping the Saturday farmer’s market at the local church. We usually cook at home, DIY before calling in a professional and are completely debt free, including the house. Typical homesteader values, right? I also proudly use my dishwasher and wash my clothes with store-bought laundry detergent. So what? I work full-time as a teacher, volunteer and run a successful p/t biz. Within 3-5 years, I plan to leave teaching and run my biz from an RV or a lake house (we’re still debating which one to pursue). It took me a long time to get to the point where I no longer care what people think. It was so freeing.
Agreed. I mean if we were going full on 100% homesteading their wouldn’t be any tractors or cars allowed in this endeavor either.
Your house is beautiful!
Only crazy people live without dishwashers. The convenience. The time saved. Why not?
Dishwashers are magical– of that I am sure. 😉
Loved reading your post. I have been told my behaviour is very eccentric so I fit the modern homesteading role very well. Now in my 40’s I have embrace the being different and not worrying what people say or think. Love my chooks, small veggie patch, essential oil (doterra of course) and DIY anything I can. Thank you for your inspiration Jill
You Grow Girl, YOUR way! You are doing fine. Love to read your adventures in homesteading, even though I live on 1 1/2 acres in Indiana and keep a small garden in a mostly overgrown, lightly tended suburban property. I am 66 years old, and have learned a lot from you young whippersnappers!
From one “homesteader” to another: I love this post on so many levels! You nailed it! Homesteading is all about the people who think outside of the box, who want to do their own thing their way. It isn’t about who is doing it better, who is most efficient, who makes more money, or who has the cutest decor, but more about how they are serving the Lord right where they are. I have an aversion, and rather a bad taste in my mouth, for many of the “perfect examples” of the homesteading “movement”. Too many people let it go to their heads, and even pick up an attitude of “I’m better than you because _____”. I follow very few blogs, but you are one of my favorites, because you write posts like this, and because you live it out, without the attitude. Thank you for encouragement, and for putting it plain!
This post is just one more wonderful example of why I love your blog. Well said, friend!
God bless you! I too have struggled to fit in but I refuse to follow the crowd and conform to the expectation of others. As I get older I am more comfortable in my own skin and care little about what others think of me and my lifestyle. This is also true as I navigate my homesteading life. I will rely on my instincts as to what works for me and my family. Along with my faith in God, my life choice and family give me all the peace I need!
Jill, you are an inspiration to me. We have a few similarities: married to a super talented construction guy, homesteading, homeschooled and homeschooling etc . But we have many more differences! I am a very conservative skirt-wearing Christian, no TV/movies….feel me? But I believe we should always look for the things that can unite rather than divide. And different as your lifestyle looks from mine, you are one of the most inspiring blogs I read and learn from. Thanks for being unapologetically you!
Love that you do it your way, as well! and I’m honored to have you as a reader!
oh ~ how very much i needed this ~ thank you & to all of you who added your comments. i’m greatly encouraged … i get so very lonely sometimes … what a blessing to have so many like-minded souls out there. xoxo j!
Thank you for that discussion – I hate trying to fit into the “perfect” idea of what a
homesteader / farmer should be, or be doing, or not be doing.
Thank you so very much for this post! I am just starting in homesteading and wondering how I would manage giving up so many “creature comforts”. I LOVE my dishwasher, washing machine and dryer, central air and gas heat. It will be forever- maybe never until we can do solar panels and be “off the grid”. Thank you for “giving me permission” to be a modern homesteader.
Love ya just the way you are……
Brava, Jill. As a fellow happy misfit, I salute you. Cheers, Ardith
Spot On!!!
May GOD continue to Bless You and Your Family Abundantly…
Well said Jill. Everyone is so competitive these days. People strive to have the best pregnancy, be the best breastfeeding Mom for the longest duration, preparing and serving the healthiest foods for their families, etc. I think if we all competed with only ourselves and do the best we can within the limits of our means and circumstances every day, we would all be happier and healthier. I enjoy your blog very much and appreciate all the tips and keeping it real!
I think it is important for each of us to do what we can to get back to real food and clean living. This post is encouraging even to those of us living in the city where we can’t always have farm type animals. We are trying to get permission to raise chickens here though still a no go. In the meantime, I have planted my large yard with vege, flowers, fruit and berries, herbs, etc. and am even trying to grow hazelnuts. Everything is still quite young and not producing much yet but I hope one day to be more sustainable. In the meantime, I am learning to preserve (some of my own growings, some bought at the store, some at the farmers market) and learning what herbs and weeds are useful. If nothing else, I get out in the sunshine and fresh air (somewhat) on a regular basis. Great de-stressor for those having to work full-time jobs and hopefully one day I’ll actually get to put some chickens in that coop that I bought. 🙂 I appreciate your posts and look for ways that I can incorporate homesteadng tips in my own life. Keep up the good work.
I was getting my micro-planter ready for a crop of cukes, which I always plant on or about the 4th of July. They will become fermented dill pickles towards the end of September.
A friend watched as I ‘harvested’ a big handful of purslane, which I seem to have domesticated, out of the planter.
“Aren’t those weeds?”
“Yep”
“What are you going to do with them?”
“Mix them in with tonight’s salad.”
The look on her face reminded me of how much fun it is to NOT do what everyone expects.
Thanks, Jill. for confirming that it’s o.k. to veer off the garden path once and a while.
Jill – what a perfect way to represent most of us out here. I have a garden , chickens and horses I don’t eat my chickens, I’ve named them. I give away a lot of my garden goodies to my neighbors.
I have a dishwasher, washer/dryer and use them. And I have to have wifi and cable of course Internet.
I crochet, paint, refurbish furniture, I teach horseback riding lessons. I have a little antique booth, we travel and have a blast. I love crafts of all kinds and make a lot of my gifts.
But I love to eat out and meet friends for lunch.
Thanks for all you do ?
Yes I’m a homesteader with land, a creek, fruit trees and vegetable,
Although I am not a homesteader myself, I found many of the points you made to be universally true and well stated. I have enjoyed reading about your families adventures many which brought back memories of the summers I spent on my aunt’s farm. It is clear you have rightly defined the life you want for you and your family. Stand firm and tall.
Thanks Margaret!
As a “city” girl who married the farmer 34 years ago I say, Amen!
Beautifully written, Jill!! I’m totally with you! This came at a perfect time. Thank you for writing it!
P.S. You look gorgeous in that picture!! <3
Thanks lady! Figured it was time for some new photos. 🙂
I saw this in other comments, but this was exactly the blog post I was thinking up in my head. I may still write it, but you put it beautifully!
I am just getting started on my mini-homestead journey, but one thing I love and won’t give up is fashion / clothing. I see so many homesteading sites and posts that make it seem like you have to sew your own clothes (yuck!) to be a homesteader. Well, screw that! I’m going to be out in my garden and working my compost bin in my fun tanks, shorts or even sundresses! For me homesteading is about getting closer to nature, enjoying the fruits of my own labor, avoiding toxins and chemicals, and being kinder to the environment.
This was VERY encouraging!
It is ironic that the very “movements” that come from individualistic ideas can end up the very rule bound entities we were trying to avoid in the first place. Let freedom ring! 🙂
It IS ironic, huh?
Hi Jill,
I LOVED this article and I love your site!! Your attitude of do the best with what you have is spot on! I find your advice and humorous stories absolutely fantastic. I’m relatively new to what is considered Urban Homesteading. I live in a 700 sq ft condo in a major urban city and for the past 4 years I’ve had a patio garden where I grow veggies and herbs. We will be moving soon to the country and I’m so excited. It will be years before we have chickens or are able to completely grow all our produce but your site and others like you give me hope and encouragement!!
Well Said… and there’s nothing more to add though as I read other comments I thought.. gee why can’t I be as eloquent in my speech as these people are… lol
Amen!! Well said! I can’t even add anything to that except that if that makes you weird, then, I guess I’m weird too. I have always been a bit of a loner, considered unorthodox, and don’t always totally fit in. It took me half my life to figure out that’s okay and I’m happy with it. Besides, if you compare the life of a homesteader in the 1700’s to one in the 1900’s you’d find even they differ greatly because homesteaders have evolved along with the wave of invention. They went from scrubbing laundry in a river on rocks to using a crank run ringer washer. Does that mean that the ones in the 1900s weren’t really homesteaders because they used a convenience tool that earlier generations didn’t have? Of course not!. Modern homesteaders are just that…modern. So although we love to cook from scratch we want to save some time for our loved ones by using a dishwasher rather than spending hours in front of the sink. I know…I still wash by hand but not because I really want to. I can attest that although there are only two of us here (sometimes 3) the sink is never dish free for more than 10 min. so I’m perpetually up to my elbows in soapy water. I’d love a dishwasher! I bake my own bread but every now and then yeah, I buy one! I believe if you strive to make your home cozy, warm, healthy and filled with love, a place where family and friends feel cared for, you’re a homesteader. If you can say you have a home rather than a house, you’re a homesteader. Because isn’t that the bottom line of homesteading even from way back?
Agree wholeheartedly, Connie!
Can see this post is really resonating with your followers! Me, too. I think the problem is when we try to choose a label for ourselves, thinking that word comes as close as any to describing what we are but knowing it really falls short. So . . . the problem is with the English language and those who need to interpret the word “homestead” in it’s purest form.
So. . . I guess they expect a homesteader to be off the grid and ride a buggy to town as well as milk the cows, feed the chickens, plant the garden, can the beans, etc. No bloggin’ allowed.
Keep it up, Jill. We love your posts!
Yes– we all love those labels, don’t we? 😉
I am in the same boat. I hesitate to call myself a homesteader because really What does that mean? I Have 2 100+ square foot gardens, 15 chickens, and 2 ducks. I also have a full time job, a husband who works 6 days a week, a grandchild living with me, and my disabled mother living in the in-law house on the other side of my 2 acres. I only bake bread when I can find time, my gardens have more weeds than produce, and my chickens are just starting to lay. Does this mean that I am a homesteader or just a hobby farmer. I don’t know but my family enjoys everything I do and I don’t have time for boredom or drama sooo what ever you want to call what I am doing It is ok by me. I love my life.
When we got our first chickens and our large garden planted, a friend asked me if we had “a farm.” I hesitated. Did we? A rancher friend stepped up and answered, “Hey, if you have farm animals, you have a farm. Doesn’t matter how big it is.” Bless her heart. Yes, I have a farm. Yes, you are a homesteader!
Exactly.
Well written post! We are all individuals and very different in our own unique ways. My goodness, we don’t come close to being “homesteaders” but we fit in our brand of this lifestyle. It amazes me that no matter what you do there are always judges and finger pointers. We are all just trying to do the best we can. Smile and thank God we live in a country where everyone can try their own brand of life.
Best. Post. Ever.
I grew up having to make everything we had from food to sheds to clothes, then moved to the big city and became a professional person. When my husband died a few years ago, I relocated closer to my son, bought a trailer, and this year I am making a chicken coop to raise for eggs and meat. My son (who is corporate america) and his family have also added a coop this month. While I still live a mostly urban lifestyle, I bake bread, cook meals from scratch, and sit and watch my chickens entertain me in the evenings. I don’t have a lot of room for actual homesteading, but am planning to grow veggies in buckets, and next year I am adding meat rabbits for the stew pot. My sisters and I built the porch and steps for the trailer, a shed for gardening tools, and a deck for my plant buckets. (We are all over 60 years old.) Not 1 neighbor volunteered to help (though many sat and watched), and now I hear comments like they can’t believe 3 old women did such a good job. I believe if you want to do a thing, you just do it to the best of your knowledge and ability. It doesn’t matter what others say or how they belittle you. Feel proud and move on. And maybe pity them a little bit.
Perfect and much-needed blog (as I make if through my first trimester with our third hold). So very beautiful.
I struggle with feeling bad about where I lack as a “homesteader.”
You are an inspiration and my definition of a modern homesteader!
*third child, not hold ?
Yes, we do hold them! So you could call them holds… I like it.
You are as smart as you are lovely, I admire people that live life on their own terms. I grew up on a farm and love that life but if anyone does not like my or your way of doing things tell them to kiss where the sun don’t shine. It is your life and as long as you are not hurting others I say live it in a way that makes you the happiest.
Alan Hastings
Amen Alan!
??Jill you could not say that any better! We can’t do it all! Loved getting to meet you at HOA -Anna
THANK YOU A MILLION TIMES THANK YOU! Just started about 3 years ago and always have to remind myself you and some of the other blogger I subscribe to started way b 4 and I have to remember you can’t start a finished Race (that’s deth) lol… I wanna live and living it what we’re doing ! Thanks again! It’s good to know as long as you’ve been doing this in this modern world we live in its a different generation and different place and a different time than Miss Laura lived in and this is us being cut out of a NEW MOLD! And we get to Choose it. Well in my case I let my Father who created me choose it. I live it and He loves it. Lol.. I love what He chooses for me! Love-n liv-n the home-said way!
Yes– our stories are all SO different, it’s silly to compare. 🙂
Truly the best blog you’ve ever written. It made me cry and I love you for it.
Thanks girl! Honored to have you as a reader. xoxo
So well said! Meet your own expectations, not those of others. And strive for excellence, not perfection. (Perfection is not for humans to achieve.) After 33 years of “homesteading” (it’s been called others things over the generations), we are still fielding comments (and questions and criticisms) from people who don’t understand the rewards of living by your own hands and the meaning of a sustainable lifestyle. There are those who can’t seem to reconcile why we have internet but don’t have television. After all, we, and you, signed on to be homesteaders, not Luddites. It’s difficult to explain to some people, so after a while, we just don’t try. We just keep doing what we do and it works for us, and for our kids and our grandkids. And, ultimately, that’s what matters. We feel that anything we can do to lessen our impact on the planet is worth doing and if we can impart those values to our children and grandchildren, then our lives will have been worthwhile. It’s so refreshing to see people of your generation ( and our childrens’) working towards a goal of sustainable living. I wish there were millions more like you.
Wonderfully said! Like you, I don’t and never will fit a mould. I love what life throws at me, embrassing it, and mixing the modern with the old. One can learn so much from tradition, but then one should also live in the here and now. Here! Here! We’ll join you in a dishwasher and wifi and raise you a 1950s rotivator.
haha– love it!
I love this article and am so happy that you chose to write about it. I fit right there in with you and agree wholeheartedly with each point…and you took the shame straight out of admitting it. Bold, fun, and honest! Thank you!
If those complainers can live life like the Native Indians before Europeans came here, then they got a beef. I doubt very much if they could.
You go girl. You have it made.
Thanks Harold!
Thanks so much for this. I struggle with ‘not doing it right’ constantly. I’ve even thought of not reading blogs or magazines anymore because of the self imposed guilt trip they would inevitably start. I mean, we have electricity (gasp!), we do buy from Walmart frequently, we have major appliances, we feed grain, I do use non organic fertilizers occasionally, my husband works in the corporate world, and the real kicker, we don’t have goats!
But, we do love our life and feel a sense of satisfaction with what we do accomplish. We also consider ourselves modern homesteaders and rebels even though we get discouraged when the garden doesn’t do as well as someone else’s and my homemade pickles were a bust.
All in all, it is a good life, though hard at times. We wouldn’t have it any other way.
Thank you for your openness and honesty. Your blog is one I will continue to read!
Have a most blessed day.
Yes– sometimes I have to limit my reading/influences in certain things as well– especially if I get in a rut of comparison. 🙂 Thanks for commenting and being a reader Tamara!
Wow, Jill. I loved this post and I think if you took out the word (or inference of) homesteading and just looked at it for it’s own essence, it is about creating your own unique experience of ‘coming back to nature’ or to who you are. So many of your comments spoke to this country girl ‘misfit’heart who started out there, traveled an urbanized road, got lost and finally found my way ‘home’. And here you are, so transparent and confident about just doing what comes nature-lly! :-} I so look forward to each post from you and it seems it always arrives just in time… when I’m struggling to figure out how to make something healthy (like kombucha tea, ginger buzz, yogurt, ricotta, sauerkraut… all thanks to you!) or something that I can indulge in for myself like soap, lotion, bug repellent (for the critters, too!). Or dealing with pests, etc in an attempt to keep where I live a safe place for all God’s creatures!
All that to say, thank you sooooooooo much!
Well said, Dawn!
Thanks for this post and your openness. I just turned 70 years old and it took my a long time to learn that it doesn’t matter what other people think about what I am doing as long as I feel right about it.
My husband has survivalist tendencies and we have recently moved from a suburban house in Northern California to 25 acres in North Texas. We are currently living in a small apt in our barn with most of our possessions stored in the barn. The property has been neglected for 60+ years so has required a lot of work and we have yet to build our house. Our goal is to be able to be self-sufficient if our country falls apart. We are coming to this lifestyle late in life and intend to use modern conveniences as long as we can but be able to shift over to self-sufficient living when needed. Besides, fresh grown and home-canned foods are healthier and taste better.
Tobie, you got this! We moved to our country home last year and lived in our camper for 3 months until we got the house ready. It too had been neglected. One thing at a time. I always say, “fix what drives you nuts” and you can’t go wrong. I’m excited that my baby trees are still alive, lol.
Way to go Tobie! I love it. 🙂
If your blog was about being the “perfect homesteader” (whatever that is) I don’t think I could read it. I’d feel like a failure after the first post. Thank you for inspiring everyone to be more conscious about how they live, whatever form that may take. And, as I often need to remind myself, that model woman in Proverbs 31? She had hired help! Blessings!
Amen– no perfection here. 🙂
Jill, plain and simple Thank You! Please do not change a thing. Like you, I live my life for me.
Well said & well written. I enjoyed reading your thoughts.
Simple doesn’t mean make it hard on yourself. It means using the old and the new to create a space that is unique to your homesteading style or preference. Doesn’t mean rejecting the new because ‘they’ didn’t do it that way. Always be yourself!
Amen!
THANK YOU! For far too long (2 years to be exact) I have felt like a failure. I am not self sustaining, I admire those who are but know I will never be there. As a new homesteader there is a lot of information to gather, and it is overwhelming. I look at the other homesteaders around me and feel I will never have their knowledge and it is depressing. Thank you for allowing me to break the mold. For making it ‘ok’ to not know it all and to not be the exact same as others. Thank you for your blog and information!
NOT a failure– you’re doing it at your own pace and in your own way. That’s to be celebrated. 🙂
Lol.I have noticed the same problem here. I don’t fit in when we go to town, and I also don’t fit in with the homesteaders because when i’m tired I buy my bread. And I realized very quickly that I can’t grow anything but herbs and onions… which with pork and chicken doesn’t make what i would call a well-rounded diet! But I felt very good about gifting jars of homemade jam this year from my neighbor’s tree when it had too much fruit! Solidarity in dancing to the beat of your own drum!
Preach it girl! 🙂
You’ve handled those comments very well. I think there is a wide range of homestead living and total “off-the-grid” is very rare. The wastes of our society is a drain on resources and our psyche. People need to understand it’s a frame of mind. Whether it’s a small backyard plot or several acres the idea is self-sufficiency at whatever level to connect us to the earth again.
Love your blog! Thank you for these awesome resources on sustainable living 🙂 these skills are so valuable for every type of homemaker. Integrating one or two habits of homesteading into any household is all some families really need. You’re an awesome writer, thanks for all the tips!
Good morning Jill!
Thank you so much for this post. You have given me permission to just be me and enjoy my homesteading journey no matter how I seem to live it! It’s so easy to fall into the hype of what a homesteader should be, instead of what kind of homesteader we really are. Thanks again! I now feel okay about buying store bought goods and being horrible at gardening. I was being too hard on myself and as a result, I was trying to be something I’m not.
Yep– just be ‘you’, girlfriend! xoxo 😉
I think this is the most brilliantly writen statement on “modern homesteading” I have ever read! Thank you so much for putting into words what I bet a lot of us feel. And for helping those of us who might stress about not getting everything perfectly right all of the time. In my view of a perfect world…I would never need to go to an office to make a living, and I would own at least 100 acres of beautiful, fertile land that was home to all of the animals I would ever need for fun, and for food…and all the plants I would ever need to eat…and not a single unwanted weed! And the sun and rain would both appear exactly as needed. Alas…this is not actually my reality. So…I will tend the container garden on my patio, amaze (confuse!) my family when I am super-excited about the lard I have rendered from fat I purchased at the farmer’s market, make a whole lot of food completely from scratch, but occasionally order a pizza from Dominoes or run to McDonalds cause I spent to much time running errands and dont have time to cook…and obsessively research which bantam chickens I am going to add to my small backyard. (according to our city regulations…I am allowed three hens, lol). Would the …nope. Can it be pretty durn satisfying anyway…you bet!!
Well said, Abby!
3 cheers for dishwashers! I bet Ma Ingalls would’ve been thrilled to have one. 😉
Ok, so I thought this was a great post! When I was sharing with my 17 year old son my disbelief that people had made those comments to you about your home decor and such he said, (and let me just say he’s brilliant and sweet) “All these people commenting negatively on her homesteading are using the internet to comment on her blog.” The hypocrisy didn’t escape him for a second.
Bam– he nailed it! 😉 Smart guy!
This was just what I needed to read today, thank you!!
I love reading your blog, Jill. I am just starting out (1 year last month) and we have such a long way to go! I struggle with working in the city and coming home to my peaceful homestead, longing to complete the next task! I still have so many things to do that I cannot imagine life anywhere else! You are encouraging to many of us “starter” homesteaders. My motto is “fix what drives you nuts” that way I am always improving on the most needed item. This weekend I am starting my fall garden and I am excited as heck about it! Keep the faith sista!
I love your motto!
I just found your blog and am loving it!
I’m a very modern day homesteader as well. So modern that my boyfriend and I actually live in a big city (he has a big city tech job and I’m a fitness instructor). Even though we don’t have cows or chickens, and we buy our milk and eggs at the store to make cheese and pastas, we do have a backyard where we grow a myriad of vegetables. Our farm animals include 2 cats, 3 bunnies, and 4 red-eared slider turtles (btw, bun poo and turtle water are great garden foods). I make soaps, candles, and body products. My boyfriend brews much of our own beer. We compost and collect gray water for the garden, use natural materials (like vinegar and diatomaceous earth) around the house, and limit the amount of plastic in our lives, along with many other things that a homesteader does. But we also enjoy eating out with friends, playing video games, going to the movies, and using our convenience appliances (could not live without a refrigerator!).
Anyway, great post. I think now days it’s really is about finding a balance as we combine our awesome technological advances with connecting to our roots and living more sustainably.
I love it Wanda– you’re making it work with your unique lifestyle!
Speaking of stereotypes, the Little House on the Prairie was built right in the middle of someone else’s house, the first nations people (who had a very different way of sustaining themselves from the Earth, speaking of different styles). In addition to being skilled and determined homesteaders, Ma and Pa were also racist aggressors, just reread the books as an adult. Like the Swiss Family Robinson, another famous survivalist family, they also killed most of the wildlife that was even a remote possibility of a threat, regardless of the necessity of those animals to the larger ecosystem…the beginning of the monumental imbalance in the natural world we are currently facing that makes it basically impossible to live that pure, free lifestyle anywhere on the planet…there are many sicknesses now, for example, that there are not plant medicines for, or the plants themselves have become so corrupted that their power is diminished. Are we not supposed to take vitamins, or go to a doctor to get help? Essential oils, acupuncture, without these I wouldn’t have the health today to Heartstead!
It’s not the color of our kitchens or the help we withhold that makes us Earth People, it’s the love we have for the earth, for our children, our own selves, our animals and seedlings. To me the best part of Heartsteading is nurturing the love in my own heart, growing it bigger and brighter every day. It makes me happy and it teaches my children that a satisfying earth life is sometimes hard work, but it grows beauty, kindness, good health and respect for all the Creator has made.
Perfectly said! Amen to it all!
I absolutely love this! We are just starting out on our homesteading journey as a family and sometimes I feel like I fall short of what a homesteader should “look like”. This is a great reminder to just let it go and take it one step at a time! Thank you for sharing from your heart!! It re-inspires me to keep building our dreams! <3
I have tried several of your recipes, with great success! Tried making buttermilk from the blueberry cheesecake recipe (good!), and my husband who loves a good buttermilk drink ( he hates the commercial buttermilk), and his comments were “the best buttermilk I’ve ever had”. We did leave it on the counter for about 30 hours and it is thicker, but that is how he likes it. He loves it and it is the second day since I made it and already he is planning for more to come! I had to uses cup of commercial buttermilk because I couldn’t find starter, but I will. Love, love your site, keep it coming!
SO happy the recipes are working out for you! And yes– there’s just something about the tang of real buttermilk. Mmmmmmm…
My mother grew up in the 1940s in a subsistence economy (aka poor agricultural community) in rural northern New Mexico. She would have given an arm and a leg to have had all the conveniences we have today, in our relatively modest (950 sq. ft.) house – dishwasher, clothes washer, INDOOR PLUMBING, not sharing bath water once a week with her three siblings! Reliable heat! Air conditioning! What?!?!?! Their life was one of backbreaking labor and poverty. Not romantic at all.
In our much more modern life, my husband and I garden, we trade produce and eggs with like-minded friends, and we live in a community in a city that has farmers’ markets and supports this “urban homesteader” lifestyle. We live in civilization and have day jobs, yet we also don’t have cable, we ride bicycles, and consciously and mindfully eat clean. We have family (his) from the Midwest (in a major commercial farming/ CAFO state) who think some of our habits are “weird”. “What do you do if you don’t watch TV?”, they ask. One adult who grew up on a “farm” (commercial corn operation) had never seen cherry tomatoes before. “You mean they just stay that size?”. So much for big ag bringing nutrition and agricultural education to us all. That’s another conversation altogether……
For me, when you spend your free time in the sunshine and fresh air, there aren’t enough hours in the day to soak it all in! Why waste any of it in front of the boob tube? Even so, we do watch movies, and we like our Netflix! Oh no, the hypocrisy!!!!
In our version of a clean eating, self-sufficient life, I have found what works for us and what doesn’t. I buy bread. I make raspberry jelly from our raspberry patch for the bread. I grow the produce that grows best in our climate and buy things that don’t grow here. We crunched the numbers on eggs, and also considering our tiny yard, right now it makes sense to purchase or trade eggs from friends who have chickens. I know I can live without things that don’t grow here (citrus!), and I know I can live without a dishwasher. But as long as the dishwasher works, I’m using it! It’s all about tradeoffs, and what works for each of us. And if that makes me a weirdo, than consider this my freak flag flown!
Indeed– tradeoffs and common sense! 😉
Love, love, love!
Thank You! <3
I had the same feeling about the simplicity living. I went to a few group meetings, I thought I was going to find people like me. I was tired of being weird! But then, like you said, I own a dishwasher and since the birth of my third child I have lost interest in making my own dishwasher soap…
I met people who have been reading books about simplicity living and they want to do it, by the rule. I was surprise that me, of all people, would feel judge by a simplicity living group! So I realized I've never wanted to follow a new trend, I was just living my life the way I though it made sense, honoring my values. And now, I want less stress and more compassion for myself, not adding more pressure in my life. At least it helped me figure that out…
I'm a little bit of this and a little more of that, I'm ME!
Yep– funny how that judgmental human attitude can show up in the funniest of place, huh? 😉
Add the milk and beat on high speed until frosting is light and fluffy (about 3-4 minutes).
You can also substitute a few glasses of water for green or herbal tea.
4 ounces in cups
Thank you! My husband and I are off-grid homesteading. It seems to bother some people that we want both conveniences (dishwasher, internet, and indoor plumbing) as well as self reliance (food and power related as a minimum). Isn’t there room for Laura Ingles and us, on either end of the spectrum? You have made a great point that we are not all the same.
Oh my. I love this! I’ll join the rebel group ? Homestead where you are, with what you have, however you want. Yes!
C’mon over, girlfriend!
Really appreciated this article! Totally agree-I love my chickens and gardens, but I’ll never give up my washer (or indoor plumbing).
Amen! Sister!! This is so me!! ?
What a great post! Thanks for putting this out there. I’m a new to it farmgirl (yes, after 6 years, still consider it new) and we take it one step at a time. You were speaking to my heart in this post. God bless!
BRAVO – Beautifully said! Reading through your list of “what does this mean?” I felt like I was looking in the mirror. While I don’t homestead on acreage (yet), when I envision what my life will look like, you described it perfectly: a balance of what I can/will do to live sustainably and in balance with my surrounding…that works for me.
You go girl! Know that for every person who offers “advice”? There are a dozen of us applauding you!???
Thanks for your support Amanda! 🙂
While I aspire to growing my own produce, making my own jam, and having a coop full of chickens, I don’t think I’m quite homestead material yet. Maybe one day!
Right now, I’m just working on making my own bread and clearing the back acre of brambles for a future garden and orchard. =)
I stumbled on this in my Pinterest feed since I’ve been looking up homesteading type things lately, I guess. I had no idea dishwashers and washing machines would be frowned upon just because of wanting to make an effort to be more self reliant; how completely ridiculous! I’m so glad I found this, now at least I won’t be surprised to be criticised for these things. I am no stranger to defending my life choices after getting married and having children younger than most, but wow, as you said, you would think that the unconventional nature of homesteading would put you around like minded (less judgy) people! Isn’t the point to relax a bit? I find nothing relaxing about so much housework I don’t have time to play with my kids or do anything for myself. Thank God for dishwashers and washing machines! And thanks for the heads up, now I’m prepared to be ridiculed for not being a purist either. Cheers to sanity!
Amen Laura! 🙂
I love this post – Sometimes when I say we have a farm, I feel guilty. I think oh we are not REAL farmers……we just have a few cows, horses and some layers. We have other jobs we go to everyday. But yes our little 13 acres is our farm, and we homestead, farm or whatever anyone wants to call it. We work hard, and enjoy every moment. Thanks again for this blog Jill – I needed it!!!
You sounds exactly what I want to be. I know I will never be a purist. Not that I don’t want to be but I just can ever see it being that way in my life anyway. This post made me feel so much better about my homestead endeavors and what I can and will expect. That I should use what I have and just do the best that I can and that’s enough for me and my family.
Oh, I love this!
Totally with you on this post, as are many others since I see so many positive comments. But I have to say, you have something wonderful waiting for you in cast iron pans, don’t put off discovering it! And, yeah, someone probably already said that in the comments, but there were so many I ended up skipping down here to say this. Sorry if I’m repeating others, but that only proves that cast iron is awesome!
Wow…what an amazing write-up! I so wanted to hear this. Because I keep wondering if I am “homesteading material”, if I can call myself that, because I want to start a farm and live the homesteading lifestyle but don’t want to completely ditch my urban lifestyle either. I would like to be an urban farmer, if that’s possible. Thanks so much for writing this. You have a beautiful way of connecting the dots…
This might just be my favorite post of yours. Authentic, genuine, and owning your right to live your version of homesteading the way it means to you. In ALL of life, there really are no hard and fast rules that each of us live by. There are always deviations, because we are all individual human beings. No people are alike, so how in the world can we expect everyone to live the same. I’m so proud of you for owning this and sharing your thoughts.
Ooops…I meant “no two people are alike…”
Great post! I never fit in either. I was never sure if I’m really a homesteader. This gives me confidence to own the lable if I want to 🙂
The judgmental and/or sideways comments you get crack me up. Good on you for brushing them off. Like you, I don’t do redneck farm girl things to impress anyone, I do it for ME. Because it’s right for me in a variety of ways.
My homestead Grandma was my hero. She never owned a dishwasher or clothes washer or dryer, but you can bet she would have happily used them if she had. She also thought nonstick pans were great for certain foods. The best overall lesson from her, and from you, is to live your life so it makes sense to YOU.
To thy own self be true….
I have found over the years that those who can do, and those who lack the drive “recommend” 😉
Your thoughts, writing and sentiments are pure joy. I am a 100% city dweller, live in the hustle and bustle of south philly, no where close to homesteading or country life. I stumbled on to your blog for a simple, low key pork chop recipe and now I’m hooked. While I am an urban momma, your blog posts are positive and real and can easily apply to city living too. Judgement abounds, and I am glad you are happy with who you are and what your choices are. Do no harm, but take no sh*t, live simple, be flexible, have an open mind, be thankful for what you DO have. Glad you are out here writing about it. You have a new fan in Philly!
Nicely said!
I absolutely love this post! I have often felt like I didn’t “fit in” with certain labels and, being a homesteader as well, felt somewhat guilty of using my dishwasher and washing machine. But now I don’t feel guilty anymore! I just own it, and if someone needs a label for it, I call myself a modern homesteader (using modern conveniences while also learning the old ways of doing things)
I just want to say… I love this! We recently moved to an older farmhouse with some acreage. We have planted our garden, purchased a bottle calf, and have a few ducks… But the main reason we chose this is because we needed a change from our fast paced lives. We wanted our children to grow up in this setting rather than the typical suburb near a city. I love how you say it’s okay to practice homesteading without going to the extreme. We’re really enjoying it so far, but we still have the luxuries of modern life as well. This is my first time reading your blog, but I will definitely be reading more. We’re a lot alike and I enjoy your narration!
I just found your blog and I love it already. I was raised in town, but we always had a garden and my mom canned and my dad fished and hunted, so we were somewhat self sufficient. I am starting my journey into homesteading with this very thing in mind. I don’t live in the country (yet) so I will have to do just what my location allows me to do and learning as I go. While living primitively is for some, I believe that even Laura Ingalls Wilder would have not turned down an automatic washer and dryer!
Well-written piece! I have a passion for growing and raising organic food. Everything is processed nowadays but growing and preparing your own food is amazing. Having your homestead means having control over your life, as a functional homestead is just that you are closer to your dreams.
Just bookmarked your page, it’s outstanding I am just enlightened by your blog. Can’t wait to make more n more progress in becoming self-sufficient. Seeing your adventures with your own eyes for achieving functional homestead is an amazing experience.
Well said . You go girl!
I don’t fit it groupings well either. I’m at the age now where I could care less. I hope to homestead some day,but I have no real desire to be the next little house on the prairie either. I loved your story. Thanks for sharing.
So well said!!
You said this all so well. We do the best with what we have. I understand where you are coming from. I hear some similar comments, “that takes a lot of work and time to accomplish wouldn’t it be easier to hire it done?”Or, ” You really can’t trust that it’s organic.” It seems that no matter what you are into, there are people that like to criticize. I also think sometimes people are jealous of what you are doing. I just move on and don’t let it bother me. I am happy in my life and that’s what matters. Take care and God bless.
Seriously?!?! You put all my thoughts into perfect words. It seems no matter what avenue in life (SAHM, Home School, Baker…a mix of things) there is a mold we are supposed to fit into. Your post made me sigh relief, and gave me a chuckle. Thank you!! I know many of us feel exactly the same, but couldn’t have said it better.
A-freaking-men! I don’t quite fit the ‘homesteading’ mold, nor the ‘prepper’ mold, yet I do both. At my age, and I am old enough to be your mother, I honestly don’t give a darn anymore what people think or say about me. Live your life the way you see fit. Don’t let the trolls get you down. There are many more of us who appreciate what you do. And appreciate everyone who is doing the best they can to be more self reliant for whatever reasons.
Jill, thanks for being so encouraging! My husband and I have recently purchased a little six acre “homestead”. Neither of us have any experience with this lifestyle. It can be a bit overwhelming thinking about doing/trying everything we want to do and make the house repairs! We are in our 50s(me) and 60s(husband) and people have questioned our choice to give this a go rather than live the typical retirement life. So I guess we are right with you-misfits!
So thanks for the cool headed approach to life!
PS. Do you still use the deep mulch or are you strictly raised beds now?
Beautiful editorial about not conforming to the the homesteader stereotype. I was beginning to wonder if I was truly a homesteader but now I believe I am. Thanks for the confirmation.
I’m glad to have come across this post. I needed to be reminded that there is no “perfect” homesteader mold. I’ve been a freak of nature all my life and will never fit in anywhere, but I’ve been ok with that for years. Makes me kinda happy sometimes not to have to be the “girlie-girl” or whatever other nonsense women are expected to be. I was calling myself a homesteader even when I was just dreaming about being more self sufficient, and I still have a ways to go in my eyes. It’s a heart and mind set, not a visual showing.
I think I love you even more now that I’ve read this. I’m looking at property in SE Wyoming next week – 10 acres that would be mine, a single woman with no kids who grew up in the suburbs and has spent the last decade living in downtown Denver. I’m getting out. And I’m doing it my way. And yes, that means I will have a washer and a dishwasher, and internet, too. And I have to figure out how to grow things when I’ve not had much luck doing that (but I do know how to read and learn and I know it’s possible to grow things, so I have some confidence I can succeed). I’d say it’s a reinvention of myself, except that we’re always “inventing” ourselves with every choice we make, every decision about who we want to be in this world – the result of those choices is the creation, the invention, of a life.
And you know what? When you invent it, you get to make the rules. 🙂
Thank you for being you, and thank you for this blog (and your books, which I devoured, almost literally with the cookbook!!). Your stories and lessons and videos are bringing this whole homesteading thing into reach for me, when I thought it required a husband and an extended family and a bunch of children, none of which I have. It doesn’t. I just have to be true to what I want out of it and what I can put into it.
Very well said, young woman. I would love to be your next-door neighbor, 40 acres away !lol!! Seriously though, what you have expressed applies to all of life. So happy you have gotten this figured out at an early part of your life. It is so freeing to be real!! My hats, all of them, including baseball cap, winter beanie, scarves, visors, bonnets, and cowboy hat are off to you !!
3 years ago we lost 16 trees on our property in town due to the ash bore. This open up an opportunity for the homesteader in me to have a veggie garden and plant lots of edible things around the landscape. Game changer !!! I have really embraced the urban homesteading life. Learning to cook from scratch, can ,dehydrate, and shop in bulk. You my dear girl have been a big part of my journey as well as many of the You Tube homesteaders out there. Thank you for your amazing channel and cookbook !!! I am proud to be part of the homesteading community!!!
Well said. There’s a balance that needs to be achieved in every aspect of life as we live true to ourselves as individuals. I’ve always been the odd duck in need of her own pond, so molds and conformity have never been my style, nor do I fit anywhere when I tried to be someone or something else. I’m much happier doing my own version of homesteading, regardless of how it looks to others. As we get older, we tend to care less about what other people think, anyway, so it’s a win-win.
Wow! I’m just starting out buying my own house 2 mostly grown boys, a new husband and a brand new homesteader, I LOVE your take on things, the way you opened up as you said total transparency. You make it ok to be me while I homestead, thank you, thank you, thank you!
Keep on being you and let those bonnet wearing cast iron cooking peeps do their thing. Really, why must anyone be a purist about the way they live. We all have our own standards, (I actually have an auto water (rain-bird) set up for my fig trees and will lay the drip hose on my one raised bed once it’s finished planting. That way I can sip my tea while the garden waters and the figs are just a bit less time consuming) While I knit I don’t spin. I have thought about dying yarn but have not gone there yet. I use a robo-vac and love that little thing. I raise worms for my garden and for fishermen who might be interested and am thinking about rabbits.
Don’t let the peanut gallery get you down. Do your own thing, it’s working, don’t fis it.
A prairie bonnet actually sounds like a good idea – I can never find a sunhat that fits!
I totally love the stereotype bashing.
The only thing I would mention, as food for thought, is that it can be annoying if language gets too vague or interchangeable.
For example, one of the most annoying things I have ever searched for on the web is actual knitting wool; that is, wool from a sheep – because almost everyone calls any sort of knitting yarn wool, even if it is actually synthetic or plant-based, and no search engine I’ve yet found is capable of distinguishing.
The same thing may apply sometimes to something like homesteading: if you want information about how to slaughter your cow at home, how to use bits of dead animal in the garden safely, or how to cook the odd cuts you never find in the shops, you need the mixed small farmers – a blog written by a vegan self-sufficiency advocate, with a vegetable garden, half an arable field, and 1.4 dogs, would be unlikely to be very useful! And being unable to separate mixed farming advice from plant-only might sometimes be frustrating to a vegan. Again, if you want advice on doing everything on a small farm by hand and horse – how do you find it among all the people doing half by hand and half by machine?
There might be reason to feel that different names for these things would be helpful without intending any criticism of any of the lifestyles!