**Please Note** This post is NOT referring to people who must be on certain diets because of allergies or health problems. I fully acknowledge that is a different issue entirely.
I’ve been noticing an interesting phenomenon lately…
If you want to start a debate online, mention either religion or politics.
But if you want to start an all-out war, start talking about food.
I suppose I understand it to a certain extent…
Food IS important. We ARE indeed what we eat. And in some cases, the proper food CAN mean the difference between life or death for certain folks.
However.
Can I just say I’m growing a wee bit weary of all the different dietary bandwagons?
Vegetarian, vegan, paleo, primal, raw, Weston A. Price, Trim Healthy Mama, and the list goes on. And on. And on…
Most everyone who is a member of those different “camps” is passionately, adamantly convinced that their diet is the ONLY way to eat.
The problem?
They all contradict each other… So doesn’t that mean somebody, somewhere, has to be “wrong”?
My husband and I often joke that if you look long enough, you’ll find someone that is “against” pretty much every single thing a human can put into their mouth.
Depending on who you talk to:
- Meat is bad.
- Dairy products are bad.
- Eggs are bad.
- Whole grains are bad.
- White flour is bad.
- Actually, all grains are bad.
- And don’t forget the legumes. They’re bad too.
- Potatoes are bad.
- Carbs are bad.
- Cooked food is bad.
- But certain raw vegetables aren’t great for you either.
- Fruit is bad because of the sugar.
- And of course, sugar is bad–even unrefined sugars.
- Honey isn’t good either– especially if it’s been heated.
- Fat is bad. Of course.
- Vegetables are good, but only if they are uber-organic, non-GMO, and grown in your own backyard– (Providing no one has sprayed pesticides within 30 miles of where you live… but wait– what if there are chemtrails in the sky?!)
- Don’t eat too many nuts because they contain phytic acid (and that’s bad.)
- Water is OK. (But only if it’s filtered, fluoride-free, chlorine-free, purified, NOT bottled in plastic, and comes from a crystal-clear mountain spring and run through your Berkey filter first.)
OK, yes, I was being a little silly there, but there’s actually a sobering amount of truth to that list… If we were to listen to ALL of the dietary “experts” at once, there wouldn’t be anything “good” left for us to eat–other than maybe an organic, home-grown carrot and some spring water. (Actually– never mind. Carrots contain sugar. So you get purified spring water in a glass bottle. That’s it.)
So… I’m left scratching my head and wondering if maybe we’ve gone a little overboard in our quest for the “perfect” diet?
But, don’t think I’m shaking my finger at anyone, because not so long ago, I was that person.
My All-or-Nothin’ Journey to Real Food…
I tend to have an all-or-nothing personality, so when I first started my dietary transformation, I was SO excited about my newfound knowledge, that I went a little, um, overboard…
One day I was eating “pasteurized-processed cheese product” and cup o’ noodles, and the next day I was purging my cupboards, making soaked whole wheat bread, buying dairy goats (for raw milk), and making things like black bean brownies (or as I call them, “marriage counseling brownies”… I’m pretty sure my husband still hasn’t forgiven me for that…).
But it didn’t end there… And I fell deeper and deeper into this food “obsession” until it was running my life.
I would worry about what we were eating at restaurants… I would worry about what we were eating at other peoples’ houses. I would worry if I used an ingredient in my from-scratch cooking that wasn’t perfectly organic and sourced locally. And I would feel like a failure if I fed my kid something that I didn’t deem to be “perfect.”
Are we healthier because of this dietary transformation I went through? You bet! I’m so thankful that we have changed our diet from what it used to be (bye-bye frozen burritos...)
But I’ve also learned to mellow out a little… And it’s a good thing. A very, very good thing. I’m pretty sure that stressing out every single day about what you are going to eat will kill you just as quickly as those non-organic vegetables will.
Now don’t get me wrong. Food is still very important to me–and our homesteading activities still revolve around food production. I’m still passionately in love with gardening, and milk cows, and raising grassfed beef. But I’m rather enjoying my slightly-mellowed outlook on food…
What’s important to me:
- Making sure that we have access to fresh, raw milk that we can use to make things like yogurt, butter, and cheese.
- Growing as many of our own vegetables as possible in the summer or buying from the farmer’s market when we can.
- Having fresh eggs from free-range chickens.
- Cooking from scratch–homemade food tastes better, doesn’t contain the junk, and I want my kids to learn how to cook too.
- Making, canning and preserving the things I use on a regular basis, like pickles, broth, tomato sauce, fruit, and applesauce.
- Avoiding as many boxed, bagged, and canned items as possible from the grocery store.
- Eating healthy amounts of good quality fats like butter, coconut oil, and lard (yes, I said lard).
- Raising our own pork, beef, and chicken meat.
- Avoiding ingredients such as MSG, artificial sweeteners, and hydrogenated oils when we can.
So as you can see, we aren’t exactly eating TV dinners around here. BUT, I am happily following the 80/20 rule now. That means we make an effort to eat well 80 percent of the time– and the other 20 percent? Well, I just don’t sweat it.
Let’s face it: we live in an imperfect world. Even if, by some miracle, I was eating the perfect diet, I’d still be exposed to toxins in the air or environment around me. It’s impossible to control everything. Therefore, I’ve decided to eat the best I can, with as little stress as possible, and trust God with the rest.
Things That I No Longer Stress About
- Eating out. We don’t eat out very much, so I have no problem happily saying ‘yes’ if a friend wants to grab a quick burger on a Friday night. And no– I don’t spend 20 minutes tormenting the waiter and asking about every single ingredient in every single dish.
- Potlucks. Canned cream soups and Jell-O salads are staples of potlucks around here–and if that is all there is to eat? I eat it anyway. And it’s OK.
- Buying the occasional item that saves my sanity. Case in point? Tortilla chips. I know how to make homemade chips, and yes, they are delicious. However, nachos are one of our “fall-back” meals that I rely on when the schedule is too crazy to make a full meal. So on those busy nights, bagged tortilla chips are pretty amazing, if I do say so myself… And yes, sometimes I used pre-made pasta noodles too. I just don’t care, y’all.
- Buying 100% organic. Do I prefer organic fruits/veggies? Absolutely! But sometimes that’s not an option. So yes, I do confess: My kids eat non-organic bananas on a regular basis.
And Grains… Don’t Forget the Grains…
Grains are a super hot-button topic these days… There was a time I used to feel ashamed and guilty every time I would feed my family any sort of bread-product–especially if it wasn’t “soaked” or “soured” first (i.e. proper preparation if you are following the Weston A. Price diet). I even seriously considered going completely grain-free (mostly because all of my friends were doing it…)
I’ve spent hours researching grains and have read many different schools-of-thought on the topic.
I’ve seen every opinion you can imagine:
- Only eat whole wheat
- Don’t eat whole wheat–it’s bad for your gut!
- White flour will make you die a horrible, slow death
- All grains are evil.
- You can eat *some* grains–but only ancient varieties. Modern wheat is bad.
- You should only eat spelt.
- You should only eat Einkorn wheat.
- You should only consume soaked grains.
- But actually, we aren’t sure if soaking really does much.
- Sourdough is the best.
- But if you really want to be cool, you should use sourdough made with white flour–it’s the best.
- You should sift your whole wheat flours to remove the bran.
- Wait, don’t do that! The bran is important!
So, do you want to know what all that research did to me?
It turned me into a rebel.
A grain-eating rebel.
We don’t eat grains every single day, but I do enjoy baking–and yes, I even cook with that sinful white flour (And yes–several of you have written me with concerns over that–but please know that all of the recipes on this blog can be made with whole wheat too). I feel completely and totally fine when I eat grains. I know that isn’t the case for everyone, but they just don’t bother me.
May I make a little confession? I did soak/sour our homemade grain products for a quite a while, but honestly? We hated the results. Most of the soaked grain recipes I made were dry, crumbly, and less-than-appetizing. And I would spend hours preparing a recipe that I would end up giving to the chickens. Not to mention that we never felt any different eating soaked grains versus unsoaked grains.
When it comes to grains for my family, I truly believe that moderation is the key for us. I know that’s not a popular stance right now, but I’m at complete and total peace with it. (so please don’t send me any hate mail, m’kay?)
Is My Way the Only Way?
Of course not. I know there will be people who passionately disagree with pretty much everything I’ve written in this post. However, the more I learn about food, the more I am convinced that there isn’t a one-size-fits-all diet that works for every person.
I’ve decided that I’m going to stick with eating quality, whole food as much as I possibly can, and not stress out if things aren’t exactly perfect all the time. And if that means having a handful of tortilla chips alongside my raw milk on occasion, well, you can bet I’ll enjoy every bite. 🙂
Oh my, was that refreshing! Thank you for your great attitude. The Internet could use more people who know how to relax. Yes it’s important to know what you’re eating and to make smart choices for your family, but one truly can go crazy crusading against every cupcake or GMO that you are bound to cross paths with.
Eat clean yes. Be paranoid, no.
Thanks for this post. Inspiring as always 🙂
No more paranoia! Love it! 🙂
Not stressing over GMO? I’m not quite ready to rush to that complacent bandwagon yet. GMO still need to be label to inform those using the 80/20 rule if only to inform the consumer of the percentages being consumed. An 80% GMO diet is a disturbing paradigm shift, especially if the consumer is held in the dark because of labeling laws. However, I appreciate the sirens of old habits, and am alas, a weak mortal. I need a little stress in my life and an occasional piece of whole white anything. Good Post.
Oh Jill, I relate sooo much to this. I have the “all-in” (sorta obsessive, actually) personality too. And I end up with so much mom guilt when I just can’t measure up to the bar 100% of the time. The past 6 months or so, I’ve been easing up quite a bit; but still struggle with some mom guilt. Reading your thoughts on all this is very helpful ?
I normally just read a blog and go on to the next without leaving a comment, but I just had to tell you how much I love this. I am where you were as far as being rigid with what you ate. I had gotten to the point of going hungry before eating something I deemed not good to eat. I am learning it is ok to eat other things every now and again. Thank you for writing this.
Amen and amen, sweet sister! Love this post and will be sharing it. There is only one thing we should be dogmatic about and that loving the Lord and our neighbor. Because in the end, no matter what diet we choose, it will never bring us the eternal life that we so crave – that can only come from the Bread of Life. xo
Well said, Kelly!
Love your comment!
Bread from heaven and living water! Amen to that!
YES!
Exactly.
Amen! Thank you for your comment. 🙂
I agree! Absolutely!
Well said Miss Kelly!
I agree! We don’t ask a blessing over the food for no reason at all!?
Perfectly said!
Thank you for this post! This is what I’m working toward, as do I believe fellowship and relationships are more important than food. I’m working on incorporating more “real” food and am also an all-or-nothing type so I start stressing about the couple times I week that I might not be able to control what we are eating, and then feel like throwing in the towel on the whole clean eating thing!
I just wanted to say I really enjoyed this article. There is no perfect diet and there is guidelines and that is to eat healthy for you and in moderation. Thanks again for your inspiration.
I never comment on blogs, but just had to say….YES! As one who suffers from extremism/perfectionism in regard to diet but lives in a place and community where God has led me to put people & relationships before my own ideas about health, this resonated so strongly. Thanks for writing it!
You are welcome Rebekah! And so glad you commented today! 🙂
Oddly enough, I’ve been worrying about our diets for years, especially as we are now older and have health problems. My husband is a diabetic with heart problems of many years now. For a short time we tried the “substitute everything with the fake stuff” because of his cholesteral (not high but up a little). I think that was the biggest mistake we made on special diets. It pushed my husband into a quintuple bypass because it totally messed his system up, and this was on the advice of a doctor! After much tiral and error, we use the real stuff, in moderation, limit our use of processed foods, and try to eat as healthy as possible. You are right about it making us less stressed about everything!
This article is just what I needed. On the advice of a thyroid doctor (yes, really), I went to a gluten free diet. That doctor was unavailable so i moved to a new doctor who asked me why i was on a gluten free diet?! I explained and she told me none of her thyroid patients was on a gluten free diet and she guessed I was probably hungry all the time and not feeling up to par. I agreed and went back to my own brand of healthy eating. I’m doing MUCH better. I like the 80/20 rule and will be following this with my husband. It has been a long while since I enjoyed cooking…it’s nice to be back. Thanks for your words of wisdom.
I too read about trying gluten-free for thyroid issues. (The gluten protein is similar to a thyroid one so the body attacks the thyroid thinking it’s gluten, or so I’ve read). I did it for a month and it worked wonders on my thyroid. The only problems were I was already medicated stable and my body felt awful, like it was missing an essential ingredient. It knocked me over into hyperthyroidism for six months and two medication changes before we could get things evened out again. The effect of that one month lasted a year. So yeah, if you’re trying to prevent thyroid damage from getting worse and aren’t medicated then, maybe it’s worth a try, but otherwise this is a definite no go for people with thyroid issues.
Your 80/20 rule is great! I always say that’s what your liver is for! ?
Real food–yes! Thank you so much for having the guts to write this. I’ve struggled with all of this for years, as well, but I found that my dogmatism was taking the joy out of eating–and I love food! And worry is much worse for the body than a bag of tortilla chips or a pan of white-flour brownies! I’ve visited or lived in enough places (Japan, Italy, and southern France especially come to mind) where people tend to live a long time, while happily eating a moderate amount of real food and not adhering to any particular regimen. Thanks again–I’m pinning this post right away!
Thank you! I think thats the right way for me and my family too!
Greetings from Holland
Couldn’t agree more! All the different diets make my head spin… They can’ all be right. We do the 80/20 rule in our home too. Also, we eat what we grow and from scratch it as much as possible (including yummy grains)…
Oh Im so happy you got off that kick! You were even making ME miserable! Lol! Not really….just kidding. Its just. that Ive lived long enough to see all or most of those “dont eat such and such….it’ll kill you” retracted later snd its discovered the substitute was worse for you than the original! Like real butter vs margarine. We eat healthy most of the time….grow what we can….buy at farmers markets or trade….have our own chickens. Etc. And I cook from scratch 98% of the time. But yeah occssionally tuna casserole with pkg’d pasta sounds good, and tastes good , and is quick and easy. We get very little opportunity to eat out. But when we. do,..we eat what we want and crave. And enjoy it! We’re all gonna die eventually from SOMETHING! If its a Dorito, well at least you’ll die happy! No hate mail responses please! To each his own…and thats mine!
Love this post! I eat a plant based diet because I have found I don’t do well on animal products as I’ve aged. However, I don’t freak out if I get a small amount of egg or dairy in something. Meat is still off the table for me, though. My husband eats a standard american diet. I include as much “healthy” as I can when I make his meals. At our age, I don’t get to tell him what he can or cannot have. Everyone needs to eat the way that makes them feel their best no matter the diet!
I have found that moderation in most things is the way of wisdom ” ) I too tend to be a passionate one. I have been really encouraged by the responses so far to this post! It does seem that whenever we try to deviate from the natural order of things however, there is a consequence—
Yup I’m there too. I am a complete “perfect or nothing” girl. It’s taken me 4 long years of struggling to begin coming around to the same conclusion as you. Grains were a big issue for our family. I would try soaking & I could never get it right & then I would feel guilty for weeks that I was giving my kids homemade organic white flour bread instead. Thanks for a refreshing article
I am glad to read this. Yes, conversations about food can be difficult right now. What seems to be going on is the beginning of a sort of revolution. Over the past few years we have been coming to understand what “corporate food” (and other corporate practices) is and what it is doing to us. We are all trying to overcome generations of “misinformation” that has mostly been used to sell us “products.” What all these diets, from raw vegan to paleo, have in common is a rejection of the corporate food culture and a return to actual food. In sifting through all the lies we are a little bit at odds and in some confusion over what to eat for ourselves. What I hope to see is that we all choose real foods, traditionally prepared, regardless of our chosen “diets” and stick together against the corporate profit machines.
Absolutely!!!! Well said
One of the things we have been told is that there is an “average” diet–everybody follow this food pyramid and base it all on 2000 calories a day. really??? That suggests that a growing boy, an older lady, a football player, and an office worker should eat the same. Uhm…I don’t think so. No wonder we have so much conflict.
Thank you….Thank you.
Very well put, Mary Beth 🙂 A good book, with no dietary axe to grind, about the real history of our ‘national diet’ is “Death by Food Pyramid: How Shoddy Science, Sketchy Politics and Shady Special Interests Have Ruined Our Health” by Denise Minger … and she’s very funny 😉
And thanks, Jill – this article hit a nail on the head! … very enlightening 😉 My-way-or-the-highway, ‘true believers’, (in every area!) have always given me the willies. I’m with that famous guy who said “The perfect is often the enemy of the good.”
Yes– love that quote!
Jill, thank you! So many people I know hold JUST THE RIGHT FOOD up as an idol. Whether it’s the Paleo diet, or Vegan diet, or Real Foods diet, or Only Organics and Grass Fed diet, or! The Local Foods Way of Eating! They are all held up to be the only way to eat. I’m pretty tired of it, too. Or! Gluten-free! I sell bread at our farmer’s market and I know that this, too, will pass, but the gluten-free trend has surely made a lot of people into wistful-eyed wanna-eats. I also feed my family as well as I can (I love bone broths, we grow most of our own veggies and lots of fruits, have our own chickens) but we nearly always have a bucket of ice cream in the freezer, and (gasp) I love an occasional Diet Dr. Pepper. When I think about all the trends that have come and gone (remember when sodium was the devil, and then when white sugar was absolute poison) and I know that all these trends will fall into disfavor, too. God must be just shaking his head at our foolishness. (The Mediterranean Diet; What Jesus Ate Diet; the Wheat is Wicked diet, . . . Carb-free diet, Dr. Atkins diet . . . )
Ice cream is my weakness…..;)
Refreshing post on nutrition, Jill!
“Let’s face it: we live in an imperfect world.” —I tell people this ALL the time. It’s my eating motto, if you will! I was down the whole ‘healthy’ road, and it didn’t satisfy.
My own experience with extreme healthy eating, is that it separates friends. It is nearly impossible to have friends over, because everyone has their own strict set of food rules, and I simply cannot keep up with them all.
Yes–I’ve noticed that too! It’s a sad day when we can no longer get together to eat b/c everyone is one different strict “diets”!
Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! We do have food allergies in our family so some things are just out, but we have been striving to just eat as healthy as we can. We never go out to eat and I cook almost everything from scratch now … That being said, I can NOT get my family to eat wheat flour. I’ve tried everything! So for now, we eat white flour. I have transitioned us to a white wheat and I’m okay with staying there! There. I said it. And I am happy about it! LOL!
Thank you for your posts like this. You make us feel like we are okay, too. This is something I have been beating myself up over., constantly feeling like I could be doing better because it seems like everyone else is! … and I needed to know I wasn’t the only one okay with white flour, or store bought tortillas.
Yes– I try to do whole wheat when I can, but my hubby does NOT like most 100% whole wheat recipes, so we compromise. 😉
I use whole wheat pastry flour and find it has a similar texture to white flour and a milder flavor than “traditional” whole wheat. Have you ever used/tried that to convert him?
I haven’t tried that yet– very interesting!
Jill, I have loved reading your article and the replies. I have been on the same path as a lot of you. And most of the time, feel terrible because it didn’t work or I messed up the recipe. I have tried to makes more changes to ‘real’ food and love it. We do try to eat sweet treats only on the weekend. I have been grinding my own flour from different types of grains for years. I’ve also tried a few soaked recipes and some have turned out, some not. I know you have to be careful using pastry flour or soft white wheat flour in place of the hard grains. The pastry or soft grains don’t typically contain the same high gluten needed for good bread. Thank you all for being honest. And let us always keep Jesus first and not let food or anything else become an idol. Blessings!!
Everything in moderation, huh? 🙂
Amein! I sometimes avoid opening certain emails from things that I subscribed to because I know that there will be something in there that will cause me to have a crisis of conscience and I am tired of it! I am a homeschooling mom to 5 kids between the ages of 1 and 9! I cook everything I can and I love baking. It is my stress relief, the thing that i do that gives me comfort but with all the don’t eat this or that, I have felt alot of guilt every time I bake.
i do know that I am at a point in my life that I do not tolerate grains well but if I only eat it sometimes then I am okay, my family however still is okay with them, so I am not going ot make them suffer! I was starting to become depressed over food and wanted to stop cooking because like you said depending on what someone says, everything is bad! So I have gotten to the point of not reading most labels (we don’t buy much prepared anyway) and just trying to relax. Yesterday we had fast food pizza and I felt no guilt over it!
Thanks again, for saying all that you have said. I love tortilla chips! I am going to print this post off and post in my kitchen so I can remind myselt to enjoy life and the food we eat…not be oppressed by it!
No more food oppression! 🙂
Loved this – I am also loosening up on what I eat and it is so much less stressful! lol thanks for posting this. 🙂
This is the second post in 24 hrs I have seen about this subject and I am so glad to see everyone “keeping it real”. Thanks for sharing this! We are all doing the best we can but it is really hard to be 100% all the time!
You read so much about this, that, or the other and it is so confusing. This is a very good post and seems everyone so far agrees.
Hear! Hear! I have been living with the same sentiment about diet for a long time. I think the thing that bothers me most about all the different diets is that they tend to focus on one food group or item and exclude all others. I truly believe that as a species we were not designed to thrive on such a narrow diet. We are meant to eat variety and I think that is the key. As a species evolving we ate whatever was available back in the beginning. If you eat nothing but one thing you’ll soon feel the effects because every fruit, veg, type of meat or grain all have their own set of nutrients. To have well balanced nutrition you need a little of everything or you become deficient in something. And moderation is the other key. Eat things in moderation. Our body was designed to detoxify itself..hence the liver and lymphatic system. The issue in today’s world is that we bombard our bodies with more than it can handle. Between the carcinogenic chemicals in food, our environment, and just about everywhere, the toxic load on our bodies comes in faster than our system can detox. So I feel the answer is to be moderate. Reduce the load on your body as much as possible and what’s still leftover in your diet/world will be properly processed and removed by your body’s natural defences. Anything you can do to help lessen the load is great. But we don’t have to be perfect. Stressing over all that stuff is bad for you too…all that cortisol production, reducing happiness. Relax about these things and your heart will thank you.
Agree 100% Connie! Variety is good!
Excellent!!! With so many things – diets, budgets, parenting, exercise — people forget about balance. When you become so rigid you forget that life is full of twists and turns and that you have to be flexible. Then you get discouraged and give up what started as a good goal. I am (slowly) learning to be less hard on myself in different areas, to slow down, to ENJOY life rather than try to do everything ‘right.’ You are right, being anxious all the time about whether or not you are doing everything perfectly just does more damage.
Wonderful to hear this! We are 80/20 as well. We do have allergies but even if we didn’t we would still eat healthy. Sanity is a healthy choice as well.:) I eat bagged tortilla chips too and over the holiday weekend I ate PEEPS and smothered my chocolate cake from scratch in a can of store bought frosting because I was able to keep it non dairy and have more time with my family.:)
PEEPS?!! Oh, the horror!
Actually, I like a Peep every so often too– but only if they are stale. 😉
yep agree! Sadly though like you said some have issues. We were no grain for awhile because we were having issues. This week we had gone out and eaten at families homes only to be feeling sick and poor baby broke out in eczema. So back to no grains for now. Great article.
I can relate. I have started to feel guilty about not soaking grains, ‘like I should’, and what the consequence was for my family. Even worse, I was starting to look into the no-grain diet, and thinking I was still on the wrong path despite the soaking. I was on the verge of being a bit crazy about it. I am glad you decided to post this. My only problem now is that we still have to watch things strictly for us and our daughter because our bodies do not tolerate it any more.Like Stacy, any time we try to go with the flow by eating with family, or going out to eat, we come home sick, bloated, headaches, and regreting every bite. A few weeks ago, our 2 year old had stomach issues for a whole week, later to find out somebody had slipped her something. I think the 80/20 diet works for most, but I feel like ours needs to be more like 98/2 to keep us healthy and feeling good. I wish some more flexibility could happen for us, but it is not the case.
The beautiful thing is, for some of us, the “restrictions” aren’t stemming from guilt, but simple necessity. We are free to choose to not eat those things and feel better AND not have to push it on someone else … even bringing our own food so that we aren’t stressing our host/hostesses out trying to figure out how to make what we can eat. Then everyone gets the blessing of being together, and we don’t come back home and suffer.
Now, if I could just keep the hostesses from feeling guilty that we bring our own food sometimes! I usually offer to provide the meat since that is a biggie for us. My mom, for example, feels terrible that she doesn’t know how to accomodate our eating habits. I am completely fine with bringing enough things so we have options and can splurge if we feel the need. It is our choice, so I definately dont want to make it hard on others that want to feast and socialize! Any tips on how to not make your hostess feel this way? After about 3 years and an additional grand kid with whole list of food allergies, my mom is doing better with us all bringing things for our families and to share. 🙂
“It wouldn’t be fair of me to expect you to go through the frustration of trying to figure out what to make that will work for me/my husband/my kids, etc. I’d rather we just get together and it be sort of a potluck deal, and have a ball … I used to not go anywhere because of that, but I’m learning that I can still have a life, even if I don’t eat the same foods. I am really looking forward to dinner with you guys this weekend!” I figure it this way: it’s also not fair of them to insist on us eating their foods and making me/us suffer for the evening or a week, or whatever, when an alternative has been proposed. A little mutual give and take lets us get along and not have to forgo the pleasure of being together. I hear you, when you say it’s really hard at first. For me, there was a lot of pain at stake. I learned that it wasn’t worth it. I learned how to bring my own food when everyone was having the pizza that I craved, and once we got past the eating moment, you know what? We all survived and I didn’t have to suffer afterwards.
Yes, it’s definitely a different situation if you are allergic or intolerant to certain foods–that makes things a little more difficult. 😉
Yes– grains can definitely be a issue for some folks. and then it’s good to avoid them for sure.
Jill,
This is a great post (and the comments too). Thank you. I have struggled and had the guilt and stressed about doing food perfect for my family. It is refreshing to know that I am not the only one who buys bagged tortilla chips. I just try to make the best food that I can with what we can grow and what is available in our area and have to not stress the rest.
Common sense. What goes into our mouths does not defile us,but what comes out of our mouths. Food has become the new idol.
Amen!
Well said….
Oh I loved this article! I am a dietitian and I constantly have questions from people about some of these diets! I tell them just EAT REAL FOOD, NOT TOO MUCH. I was diagnosed with celiac disease almost 20 years ago, and also raised a celiac child. So I always cooked from scratch, but we had gluten-free bread and grains in our house made from buckwheat, rice, corn, sorghum, bean, and other flours. I was happy when more people were being diagnosed with celiac (I was told I had a rare disease, but now they say it is the most common autoimmune disease) . It made it easier to find food. But now so many non-celiacs and people on radical diets are eating GF as if it is a weight loss diet or something. They say “You eat corn! It’s GMO! If you really want to be healthy you wouldn’t eat any grains!” I just say, thanks but no thanks. I have cut out gluten for 20 years and I am VERY healthy. I am not cutting anything else out.
I think that’s some awesome, simple advice Gloria!
Fantastic post!! I have felt the same way many times and still do at times. I have recently done a detox and removed a lot of foods from my diet and am now adding them back in to see how my body reacts to them. It’s been an interesting journey and one in which I will continue all my life to live healthy but there are certain foods ands drinks that I know I will come across while out with friends and family and I don’t want to be one of those people that brings my own food to parties and restaurants, especially since I haven’t found any severe allergies to any type of food. Thank you for sharing this post! It makes me realize that life is way too short to worry about everything that is put into our bodies.
Here here. I think I came to that conclusion a bit sooner than you did though. Maybe I had more epic failures quicker? Lol.
Keep up the good work.
I was so glad when I read this post just now, ’cause I’ve been thinking the same thing for a while. Not judging anybody, but I read a lot of blogs about foods and what you should and shouldn’t eat, and yeah, one has to learn what works for them, and what doesn’t! It’s just nice to see that some people realize that though you should make every effort to eat a healthy diet, there’s no need to fret over every single little thing that goes into your mouth! Thanks Jill! =)
That’s pretty much where I am now too. I joined the whole food bandwagon about a year ago and flat out wore myself out cooking and doing endless dishes. I learned so very much, and have made a lot of permanent, healthy changes, but I’ve finally accepted that I just can’t do 100%. As a working mother, my time resources are limited and for many items, making homemade is just not the best use of those resources.
Love, love, love this post!!! I was just recently forced to cut gluten out of my diet for health reasons. Other than that, it’s just eating as healthy as possible as often as possible! 🙂
Agree!
I don’t mind people sharing their food choices. Life is about choices.
What I do mind is when they criticize my choices…
Eat what you want to eat and let everyone else do the same.
Even if it is McDonalds, it is NONE of my business 🙂
Great post!
This was wonderful! Last week I was reading a book written by a famous herbalist and it listed his recommended diet. I told my husband “the more I read, the more guilt I feel over making you guys cookies and cake and letting the kids eat {GASP!} hot dogs.” His response? “STOP READING!” You are correct, every single food fad diet advice out there has some other to contradict it. Discern and do what is best for your family. Having said that – I don’t like processed and I do not like eating out. The movie Food, Inc. sort of ruined me on store bought meats and poultry, etc. Knowledge is powerful!
That was a great post. We are this way also although I made a point to be ok with the ocasional “bad for you” food from the beginning of my journey into real food. I am usually an all or nothing persone to but there was so much infornation out I thought I wouldgo crazy if I tried to go all in at once. I was also scared that if I fed my kid only organic not processed food, if they went to a friends house and ate something , I was scared it would make them sick from there bodies not being use to it. Maybe im wrong I just rem as a kid I stopped eating meat for a while and when I ate some later I got sick. I figuure most things are is ok , in moderation. For us at least
Great post! It’s so nice to hear that I am not the only one with my “relaxed” sense of diet 🙂 Sometimes you just have to pick your battles. My kids eat healthy, home-cooked meals most of the time, but I don’t want them to grow up thinking they should feel guilty about having a Snickers every once in a while. Thank you for sharing!
Exactly– I let my kids have treat like that on occasion as well. 🙂
I say stop bring dogmatic about food and just start eating dog instead! Just kidding…..:). Jill, once again you are my homesteading twin here regarding relaxing when it comes to food, with the except of gluten, which really does cause me issues so I don’t eat it, but I still feed it my family, although they probably eat gluten a lot less than a normal family would. I think the conversation online that is unfortunately often missing when it comes to healthy eating is the one that encourages people to learn to listen to their bodies and eat what makes them feel good. As Americans, seems like we often either just eat what tastes good without thinking about what is in the food, OR we want to sign on to what someone else tells us is healthy and not think for a ourselves.
LOL! And amen! 🙂
Jill, can I just say “Amen, Amen, Amen, Amen, Amen!!!!!” The other thing here is that for those of us who care about real food but also have a good number of children, making things like homemade tortillas and homemade tortilla chips takes hours!! I used to make homemade tortillas for our family of 20 but it was a 3 hour event for one meal that was gone in 20 minutes.
Also, we are all at different stages in our “food journey” and I do not want anyone ever to feel they cannot invite us over to dinner because their food is “not good enough”. Loving people first, then food…
Thanks again for a great post!!
Amy
Oh man, I can relate! I love homemade torts, and make them when I can. But we eat a lot of them, and they take a big chunk of time!
Marriage Counseling Brownies!!! Ha Ha, so funny! And I sure can relate. At 58 years I have gut issues for and I’ve never had a doctor order a test for celiac, gluten intolerance etc. but I’ve made a switch to real food and like you if I have pastured meat in the freezer, raise my own chickens and procure my own raw dairy I’m dong very well. Not sure how to approach grains yet but I’m getting there. Listening to my body and realizing that my gut is the entry way to bodily health is necessary information for me. Our bodies are the temple for Christ on earth and if we want to do his work we have to strive for healthy bodies. Thanks for a great post Jill.
“Listening to my body” <----that's really the key right there! 🙂
Finally a dose of sanity in all this food crazyness.
I would love to be able to cook everything from scratch, butcher my own livestock, raise my own egg-layers, and grow all my own produce. But I live on 1/12th of an acre in an urban setting where livestock is prohibited and space is limited. And by my husband and I work full time outside the home. We can only do so much and I refuse to feel guilty about that!
I also believe that it’s also important to honor one’s culture. I live in Milwaukee. I refuse to feel bad about eating my beer, bratwurst, and frozen custard – it’s our culture here! Milwaukee is also full of restaurants serving up every ethnic style of food under the sun – it’s one of the benefits of city living and I don’t feel guilty for eating out as much as I do. We eat healthy choices MOST of the time, but I don’t sweat it when it’s not ALL of the time.
Let’s all stop judging one another when most of us are doing the best we can with our given situation. Great post!
Amen!
Great article! Exactly how I feel and what we do in our family. Thank you so much.
Thank you x’s a 1000. Love this post.
This is a great blog today, so funny to read because you are correct about everything. I feel the same way. Having graduated from the Institute for Integrative Nutrition a couple of years ago I can totally relate. I want to post this for others to see.
Amen to this! I will not stress about food and decided that long ago. I know what makes my family feel well and not so well, and we stick by that. With newbies in the real food world, I always tell them to do one thing at a time and not everything will work for everybody!
Amen and amen! So thankful our hope and trust is firmly grounded in the God who provides our food and has His hand on our health. Be wise, be gracious with yourself and others, and trust our God. Its beautiful to find that freedom!
Be thankful, trust God and love others! Amen! So simple and so true!
I love that your blog can teach my how to make homemade whole wheat hamburger buns while telling me to not sweat it over bagged tortilla chips. What healthy balance! I’ve been cooking for over a year with just an under-performing hot plate, a toaster oven and a couple of slow cookers as we slowly renovate our new “fixer-upper” house. Ideally, all of our food would be organic and from scratch but we’re a long way from that and that’s okay. Tonight as I eat nachos on bagged tortilla chips, I can at least be glad that my beans came from a crock-pot instead of a can.
You bet! Hooray for making good choices when we can, and not stressing about the rest. 🙂
I love this! This is EXACTLY what we do. It’s ridiculous to be so caught up in what everyone says is healthy. We are not all the same and have to find what works for each of us. I would drive myself crazy trying to stick to one of the “diets” you mentioned. Everything in moderation including the “evil” sugars, starches, and grains. Thanks for writing this!
Applause! Applause! This article is so refreshing and instantly made me feel better. Thank you for sharing the common sense approach to nutrition. We do our best and let God do the rest! Excellent, Really!!
Right on Jill! This is one of the few blog posts I’ve read “cover to cover”. It came just at a time when I was starting to become totally fanatic. Thanks for the reality check. 🙂
Wonderful , sensible post ! MODERATION in diet!,,,,,,,adaptable to health issues.,,,,,open minded~~~which makes for happier people.
(a little bit of every food, if possible):)
Thank you for this post! Food can very easily become an idol! It has taken me a lot of time to process all of the information out there and sift through all the ideas to find what God is asking me to do for my family and our specific needs. Seeking perfection (which is impossible!!) has only lead me to fear and made me dread food. I love food!! I don’t want to dread it! Having a balanced view and living out what God is leading us to is key to enjoying the gift of food that He has given to us.
Yes– it can definitely become an idol–often before we even know it’s happening!
AMEN SISTER!! All things in moderation 🙂
Thank you! Thank you! This was such a great article. I have struggled with this so very much. It is encouraging to read someone else reaching some of the same conclusions I am reaching. We live in a fallen world, and even if we eat all the supposed “right” things, we can still get sick. The worry over what to eat or not eat certainly is not healthy! I know that grains truly do bother some folks-I have a daughter that is very allergic to many things- but my family can tolerate them and I strive to make our bread, buns, tortillas, etc. from scratch with as much fresh ground flour as possible. We actually GAINED weight when we were doing the “no grain” regimen. I am trying now to be more sensible and learn moderation. Thank you again for such a timely article!
I’ve actually heard a couple people say that they’ve gained weight going grain-free. It’s so interesting how different our bodies all are!
Thank you thank you thank you! I had been struggling with this as of late and you helped set me free!
FREEDOM! 🙂
Well said, Jill! I think too many people get caught up in doing everything perfectly. God made us each differently and certainly none are perfect, stands to reason that no one “diet” is perfect for any one person. Listen to your body, feed your body what it needs and don’t be obsessed. God always provides. Thank you for your website and the vast information you have provided and the honesty. God bless you and your family. ????
Thank-you so much for this post! It has blessed me more than you can know! Most of the comments are so good too!
My husband was diagnosed with a stage 3 cancerous brain tumor almost two years ago….so you can imagine my scramble for natural alternatives and diets etc. It has been very stressful at times, but God is good and I believe He has led us to what is right for my husband. He is fanatical about his diet, understandably so. But I could stand to be more relaxed for myself and the children.
And as for the tortilla chips, there are some very reasonable organic ones. In my opinion, the taste is far superior! You might want to give them a try! 🙂
I’ll say a prayer for you and your hubby Rita!
AMEN AND AMEN! Thanks you so much for writing this article I’m really NIT crazy for how we eat and what we do. And I’m not perfect either. You hit the nail on the head! Great job and “you go girl!”
I’m with you on this 100%! It’s hard not to get overwhelmed and do all the things with absolute perfection, as we so badly want to feed our families the very best. I believe strongly in the 80/20 rule, as humans we simply aren’t perfect. Sometimes convenience and social etiquette wins out over dietary restrictions, so long as they’re not allergy/sensitivity based- and that’s ok.
I can so relate! I feel the same way. A couple years ago, we were eating pretty much strictly WAPF style. Honestly, we felt great, my weight was dropping steadily. And then, I got pregnant. For whatever reason, it’s hard to remember to soak everything, plan ahead, etc., especially in the first trimester. We quickly fell off the soaked grains bandwagon and have struggled getting back on ever since. We pretty much do the 80/20 thing as well. We still get raw milk, good meat, good eggs, local veggies when possible, etc, but if we eat unsoaked bread or oatmeal, I don’t sweat it. I do *try* to at least soak oatmeal, since unsoaked seems to give my 3 year old a tummy ache, but most of the time I don’t worry if it’s not soaked. We do the best we can and leave it at that. 🙂
You have to do what works for you. I am diabetic and have had very high blood sugars in the past. I have found that I can control my blood sugar simply by eliminating grains from my diet. I can eat fruit, limited amounts of starchy veggies and potatoes, and limited amounts of sweeteners without it affecting my blood sugar. I think it is trial and error. I try to feed my family good quality food and we do the best we can.
Great post! I’m gluten intolerant, and going off gluten has made a HUGE difference for me. But I tell people all the time – DON’T do it unless you need to for medical reasons. It’s not a fad diet! If I didn’t have to avoid gluten, I wouldn’t. We eat clean most of the time. I cook pretty much every day. We eat only a small amount of sugar, but if we’re out somewhere and they have a dessert I can eat, you bet I eat it! I also love cinnamon Jolly Ranchers, and one lasts a long time, so you get the sweet thing without a lot of sugar. I get beef locally, and free range chickens for long-cooking methods, but we use store bought chicken for grilling or roasting because the free range is tough. It’s all about balance – just like the rest of life! (And we all need french fries and chips on occasion!)
Thank you so much for this. It’s such a blessing to hear this for those of us who are unable to eat the way they want because of circumstances beyond their control. It’s much less a burden knowing that there are people who won’t freak out on you because of this.
A refreshing post indeed! I totally agree that the amount of stress required to maintain a stringent diet of any kind in our society…. and we are all part of a society of people…is probably as detrimental as eating poorly. And we know now that there is a lot of variety in the microbiome or resident bacteria and viruses that help make each of us an individual. This surely suggests that there could be variety in what kinds of food make us feel good or poorly. Vive la difference! 80/20 – I like that!
I agree whole heartedly with you!! Thanks for sharing!!
AMEN!!
Here here!!!!! I emphatically agree with this post and have totally gone through the same exact kind of movement with our eating “plan”. I can totally be the dogmatic type “A” person, but it is ultimately to my own demise and disappointment. I wrote a similar post on the topic that was on the same idea, especially your point on how food philosophies can totally start all out wars. Yep, “we all like sheep have gone astray”…bahh. Thanks for the great post! Keep it up! http://savvyhomemaking.com/turning-away-from-food-idolatry/
Yes indeed Julie Ann! I’m a Type A too. 😉
This is so true! Thanks for posting an honest glimpse into all the food craziness. Why is it such a big deal? Everyone has to eat to live. If you choose one way to eat for your family and I choose something different, why is that wrong or bad or stupid or evil? Totally agree with the 80/20 guideline and moderation in everything. Great post!
GRACE! Your post is full of grace. I love that you cook from scratch and look forward to teaching your little ones to do so also. It will bring you such joy, we’ve been on a “real food–find the right diet” journey for awhile. I enjoy watching my children (4, 6 ,9 and 10) discover how potatoes are great when you wash them, dribble them with oil and then sprinkle with herbs and roast to perfect crispiness. They like to make puddings, dips, dressings, and bake with fruits and flours. All of these from scratch–it is true chemistry and art for them. Dare I say they even go off road a bit and invent a few (tasty) things of their own. I must admit, cooking from scratch is one of the best bonding, learning and growing things we do as a family. How awful it would be if it was always dictated by strict diet rules. Keep sharing God’s grace girl!
Yes!!!!!! 🙂 It was so good to read this. I got sucked into the “real food” dogma (WAPF, Paleo, etc) and it completely stressed me out. I got burnt out and had to turn my back on all of it for a good long time. I unliked pages on Facebook and deleted bookmarked blogs. Every time I would see a recipe that had listed “organic, grass-fed ground beef” instead of just listing “ground beef” as an ingredient, I would see red and not bother reading the rest of the recipe. The pretentious, self-righteous tone of so many of these bloggers turned me off and any good, helpful food/nutrition advice they were giving got lost in the smugness of it all.
Ironically, one of those smug self-righteous bloggers led me to Go Kaleo (https://gokaleo.com/) who taught me to CTFO (Chill The F*** Out) 🙂 about food, find what works for me and let the rest go. I learned that I had become orthoexic in my relationship with food and am now working on finding a healthy balance between food quality and not stressing over everything. You’re right, the stress created by fixating on eating “right” is more dangerous to our health than any “badness” in non-organic, processed food.
I’ve seen a couple of other posts from some of those bloggers similar to yours, doing a turn around and realizing that they need to chill out a little on the real food front. I hope the fervor pendulum is starting to swing back the other way and will balance out somewhere in the middle. So many people take the advice of food bloggers on blind faith without doing any of their own research (or even listening to what their own bodies are telling them) and depending on the advice, could end up doing serious harm to themselves by following diets that ruin their metabolism. Food quality is important, yes, but it is only one factor in living a healthy lifestyle. Sorry for the ramble…..GREAT post!
Amen sister. If you are a believer too then to me it seems many are thinking they can control more than they actually can by their diets or supplements. Eat the best you can most of the time then relax and trust Him to be bigger than the rest. “So do not worry what you will eat or drink…”
I understand what you’re saying, Jill. There is a bit of truth in most of the claims you cited, but diet trend believers can be a bit overboardish. There can’t be too many people who don’t know what’s going on with most of our (U.S.) food today. It’s basically processed, chemically altered sludge. Simply avoiding most prepackaged, additive infested convenience stuff (including breads) makes ones diet a heck of a lot safer. Doing so makes meals a little more work overall, but I personally prefer to be able to pronounce what we eat. I don’t consider our eating style a “diet”, and I don’t over-think it. It’s simply a preference to consume real, wholesome foods as much as possible, isn’t it? 🙂
Yes, I think it’s awesome that there is so much more awareness of the icky stuff in processed food–especially since for so long most people didn’t have a clue what they were eating. But I think many folks have now swung to the opposite extreme. At least that’s what I did. Hopefully everyone will be able to find a happy medium of awareness, but not obsession.
You’re so right…there isn’t one thing that works for everyone. And stressing out about it is way worse than a non-organic banana!
Amen Sister!
I have to share my favorite quote from Mark Twain. “Be careful of reading health books, you may die of a misprint.”
LOVE that!!
Love Love Love your blog!! My husband and three boys moved to Montana 4 years ago and have been working towards having all the things you talk about. We planted our first garden last year and bought a dozen laying hens. We have dabbled in the past in raising a milk cow, pigs, chickens and meat rabbits. But was very expensive and difficult in California hence why we moved our family here. We so look forward to having all those things again soon. This post was cracking my husband and I up because we are always having this same conversation. …you said it
perfect!! Keep up the good work 🙂
You have said what I have been thinking for a while. I was researching different ways to eat and saw so many one sided documentaries I would go to the store and find myself having a difficult time find anything to eat. It was horrible. I am slowly getting back to “normal” and have, like you, realized that eating quality whole foods most of the time is what is important.
Couldn’t agree with you more!! Moderation is a Biblical principle! And that’s where we are and happily so!! Thank you for your honesty and, Bravery!! 🙂
Blessings,
Mid
Amen!!
Well, darn it Jill, this is why I can’t start a blog! You say my thoughts at least a day before I mentally write them! (And that’s okay, because you say it much better than I can). I saw this video on a blog early in my real food journey and thought it hilarious, (I’m sorry, I do not know which blog it was,) but knew I did not want to turn into this. I hope more blog writers follow your honesty. You could add to your list using microwaves. Yes, I try to limit the use, but when this working mom forgets to set out frozen venison to thaw for tonight’s spaghetti sauce, I don’t sweat putting it in the microwave!
http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=lraDNDuFNj8
LOL Caroline! And yes, I still use my microwave sometimes too… I try not to, but sometimes it just happens.
Oh thank you. I have spent the better part of my 49 years obessing about food and my weight. The result has been that I weigh more now than ever and need to lose a whole dang person. I have been trying to do the plant based or vegan lifestyle but sometimes I crave meat and then when I have it I feel so guilty and like I have failed. On Easter I went to church and made my life right with God and a lot of things came into focus for me. I still think I need to be plant based but I see that as plant foods forming the BASE of my diet. The occasional fish or chicken or (gasp) hamburger is not going to do me in. I have decided to eat food the way God made it. He didn’t process it, He didn’t genetically modifiy or add chemicals. Just pure simple food as much as possible. I like your 80/20 rule but hoping to go more 90/10 so I can get this weight off. I have often felt as you do that there is an argument and counter-argument for every point of view. In order to avoid the “bad” stuff I’d have to pack my 8 yr old daughter and I off to the wilderness, grow our own food, drink from fresh clean springs and wear bearskin clothing. So not my thing. Therefore, I will do the best I can to maintain a healthy lifestyle, avoid the bad as much as possible, focus on the good, exercise, laugh a lot, love more and be the best person I can be. Thank you for your encouraging post.
Great Post! I get so frustrated with everything we shouldn’t eat. My husband and I feel so much better without grains so we rarely have them. But if I didn’t eat everything they say not to eat I’d be down to lettuce. I eat the best I can and try not to sweat it.
I agree with the grains. The stores I shop at thankfully carry sprouted grain choices (like bread, bagels and cereal!!) and I bake w/ Einkorn flour. 🙂
Jasmine, I now do all my baking with Einkorn, too. I looooove it, and haven’t had an IBS attack (a life-long deal) since I started using it + avoiding commercial wheat products. I’m a believer.
Thank you for this post! I found it very freeing! I am all about living natural but it has to “fit” as well and if we try to be perfect we will only get frustrated…and then most likely stop trying or make ourselves feel awful! It’s actually the approach I take for my blog as well. Not so much diet but using natural things around the home, but in an EASY way! A realistic way of incorporating essential oils, DIY natural products that are quick and easy. So often I find these LONG directions, explanations for how to make something “natural” with 27+ steps and ingredients I don’t have…then when I try it I find the long way doesn’t necessarily work better and I find a way to make it cheaper and easier! it’s exciting every time! I think many of us have taken something wonderful, the desire to be more natural and have more handmade items in our homes and turned it into something, as you say (and I agree) dogmatic! Thanks for writing this post, I like your 80/20 rule!
Jill, I’ve got to laugh but carrots are bad too….Carrotine in carrots is a cancer causing agent. Some scientist probably feed a lab rat 14 tons of carrots and low and behold….it got cancer….So i guess we are just down to water….lol
Darn it Pete! You totally burst my bubble. I guess water it is then… 😉
NOt to mention some diets say carrots are high glycemic and full of sugar, even though they only contain 5 grams of carbs for a whole cup!
Oh my goodness… Welp, we’d better add carrots to the BAD list, ha!
“Process Pasteurized cheese food product” HAHA that is MY line! I say that all the time when talking about “yuck” food. When I say it i think “what kind of “product” could cheese even make hehe
Exactly!
thanks for such a wonderful post. i’ve been all over the place with my family’s diet. i think i have finally gotten to the point that i don’t freak out when i read about how this or that is going to kill you or if you love your family, you’ll only feed them this. we produce what we can, cook from scratch, limit our purchases to non-gmo and organic where possible (focusing on the dirty dozen and the clean fifteen) and say a prayer before every meal to let God take care of the rest. i’m a firm believer that He can and will lead us in the right direction for our families. thanks again.
Love, love, love this and THANK YOU! I’m so exhausted over trying to find the “perfect” diet. Every time I mention a food I’m happy I switched to, someone always knocks it and I feel hopeless! I’m afraid to eat anything and it only causes me to throw my hands up and regress. So thank you for this!
This post was a delight to read … and all the comments … oh my, wish we could have one big gigantic picnic and get to know one another. What delightful readers you have, Jill.
Thank you for being a voice of reason. And thank you for taking the time to answer and affirm many of the comments. Back at the beginning Kelly hooked me and I paused to remember the important things … like living and walking in love … and working on accomplishing God’s assignment for me in life. Well done, dear friend. Blessings on your sweet head.
Thank you Leslie! And yes– are the comments the greatest!? Love my readers. 🙂
Your article is the healthiest attitude about food I have found in a long time. I think we should just be thankful when we do have food to eat.
Thank you! I agree that it is so easy to go hardline on any of this. Real food is the best and most important thing, but don’t sweat it if you have a craving for pizza or burgers on occasion!
If I could make everyone read this, I would.
Because I know where this path leads.
I have diagnosed Disordered Eating. What it means is that while I don’t have traditional symptoms like Anorexia, I do have habits like calorie restricting to the point of passing out when I’m stressed. There were weeks when I was in grad school where I was living off of half a granola bar. A day.
Once I got of school and got to the point where I could handle starting healing myself, I did. And part of that is letting go of all those things that ‘other people’ were telling me to eat. And by other people, I mean people who aren’t my doctors.
Right now I do what’s called intuitive eating and I follow the DASH diet which is one of the few CDC approved diets. Both for my health, and neither are things I would dream of telling other people to do. Because it’s rude-and because, no joke, I had someone accusing me of causing childhood obesity for posting a recipe involving Peeps on my blog this spring. No one wants to hear that. Moderation is still a thing that exists.
And trust me, being able to live your food choices in the end with sanity and grace is just as important as doing the ‘right thing’-and sometimes forcing the ‘right thing’ onto a person is just as damaging as letting them find the balance that works for them.
rather, not letting them find that balance.
You summed it up so eloquently with this statement Katie—> “Being able to live your food choices in the end with sanity and grace is just as important as doing the ‘right thing’-and sometimes forcing the ‘right thing’ onto a person is just as damaging as letting them find the balance that works for them.”
Good for you Katie. The trouble with all of these diets telling you about the right thing , is that ‘the right thing” is different for all of us. What feels right to me might not to you. We all have to listen to our own bodies. Intuitive eating and the Dash diet are both great! I treated my high blood pressure with the Dash diet. If everone did intuitive eating we wouldn’t need diets. One of the problems I see with some of these diet fads is that the families diet becomes restrictive and children cannot learn intuitive eating.
I have have come to the exact same conclusion. Why should I be gluten-free when wheat doesn’t bother my tummy? In fact, bread is a staple in most lands and through all of history. So thanks for some common sense in the world of food madness. I couldn’t agree with you more! 🙂
No one needs to be gluten-free unless they have celiac or a sensitivity to gluten. But unfortunately there are some Dr’s out there making a lot of money by saying that wheat is evil and everyone should eat gluten-free. But there is no science behind it and as you say people have been eating it for centuries.
This was the first article I read this morning and it was totally refreshing! I too am surrounded by people who want to argue about diet and what we eat. It has gotten to the point that there are some people I am avoiding because of it. I have been so frustrated and in prayer over the whole matter. I believe we need to make wise decisions but we can also make the “diet” issue an idol. Isn’t that something the enemy would love! We serve a gracious God! My favorite part of your article is the 80/20 rule. That my family and I can do! I will pass this along. Thank you!
What??? A voice of sanity and reason? Thank you. It was great. It is something I have been thinking about, especially after my son had to write a paper on GMOs. You can’t avoid every “bad” thing. You would go crazy trying! Unfortunately the bad is part of the fallen, sinful world that we are a part of.
In order to follow all the rules, one has to be consumed with thinking about food. And yet, we are told to not worry about food, and to meditate on God’s word. How can we meditate on Him, as well as other important parts of life, if all we can think about it food?
I like your 80/20 rule. That seems to be more balanced and less consuming.
Blessings!
OMGoodness YES!!!
I have taught my daughter that you should try to eat food that ‘remembers where it came from’, as in less processed is better. Also, it’s important to ‘eat a rainbow’!! When she was little we had a garden and she got to pick out seeds based on colors… we still have a wee garden now (I live in a condo in the city) and she picks what she’d like to grow based on what she’d like to cook with but still looks for colorful veggies… rainbow chard, multi colored carrots, beets, purple potatos, red leaf lettuce…
we bulk prepare a few of her favorite dishes such as Cottage Pie and Tortiere and also prep and freeze things like sauteed mushrooms, onions, celery, and carrots. We bake breads from scratch and hope to start hitting some U-Picks and canning this summer.
my dream is to have a homestead and I would have loved to been able to raise my daughter on it but she graduates high-school next year and will be off to University… but I’ve taken her to friends and she’s milked goats and collected eggs and fed cows and pigs that were going to end up on dinner tables… she infinitely prefers raw goats milk to what you can get in the store (unfortunately we can’t purchase raw milk in Canada)
fads come and go… but teaching your kids to properly prepare real food is something that will be around hopefully forever (sadly too many ‘city-kids’ don’t know much of that!)
Thank you for this post!
I am in a similar place of having to take a step back and find a more sane path in this journey of food.
We started learning about the importance of a Vegan diet and how extremely important that is. We have made may changes that have been beneficial and healthy, but I think that stressing about food is far more of a concern than not eating casien.
I have decided to settle on a whole food diet and not sweat the small stuff…much like you. Thank you for putting this necessary message about balance out there.
Charlotte
“If we were to listen to ALL of the dietary “experts” at once, there wouldn’t be anything “good” left for us to eat–other than maybe an organic, home-grown carrot and some spring water. Maybe.”
Nope – some experts say that you dont properly absorb raw carrots without some sort of fatty dressing, lol
Great post, I much prefer the “not so perfect” approach
LOL! Yep– carrots are definitely out. ha!
Loved your statement , Jill, about nothing left to eat but spring water BUT NOT IN PLASTIC BOTTLES???! Potlucks are not as guns and easy as used to be—/I liked your statement about eat anyway!
There are as many “denominations “ of food beliefs as there are Protestant denominations !( I can say as a lifelong Methodist ??!)
I totally agree that stressing out about our diet can be just as damaging to our health as eating not-so-healthy food is!
GREAT post! It’s so true that it’s easy to turn *awareness* of your food into *obsession* with your food, and make yourself (and everyone around you) crazy in the process. Particularly, as you point out so well, the information out there can be totally conflicting, just adding to the craziness.
I think the best thing coming out of so much of this “movement” is returning to an understanding of what “food” actually is, and then doing our best to eat it, at least most of the time. And just “chillin’ out” a bit, especially when it comes to preaching to others what they should be eating. (That’s why my own blog is called real-food-real-life — the two do have to actually co-exist!!)
You reach a lot of folks with your blog and I think you did a lot of GOOD for a lot of people with this post. You go girl!!
Thanks Arden! :)kk
Excellent! I love love LOVE this! It drives me bananas (and not the organic kind) when people PREACH about their food as if it was their religion (unless, of course, it is part of their religious customs!) Every body is different and has different needs. For me, I can’t imagine living my live (voluntarily and not because of a medical condition that requires it) where I sit and worry about every single bite I put in my life. You are right, I would die from the stress and anxiety of it.
I agree with the 80/20 mindset…. although I’m not nearly as good as you are. My 80% is “eat organic if possible and eat ‘healthier non-fried heavy meals’ more often then digging into fried chicken”
But that’s me 🙂
And yeah if you gave me black bean brownies, I’d divorce you 🙂 Although we have done some interesting gluten free choco-chip cookie-dough dip made with hummus and that wasn’t horrible!
thanks again for this!
LOL! Your cookie-hummus dip sounds intriguing! 🙂
That was great, Jill. That’s exactly how my journey went. Thanks for sharing!
I’m curious, though. How does raw milk taste compared to what we grew up with? What is the shelf life? Is it better for people with lactose issues?
I think raw milk is sweeter and richer tasting– and it can sometimes be better for lactose intolerant folks, too.
Jill, I am so with you on this post. Been there, too, and really, it’s just a matter of using good sense when it comes to eating. I told my husband the other day, if we went with everyone’s idea of diet, we would have starved to death by now.
Wow! You are so so correc!!! Our country has gone CRAZY with our eating. Every day some new food is BAD and off limits, and there is a new FAD about eating. Meanwhile the populations of other countries keep doing what they’ve been doing forever which is eating everything in moderation. Those countries don’t have near the obesity rates that we do. Depravation does not work, and if you eat REAL food, (not processed, not junk) you can eat from all the food groups and really enjoy your food. I’ve struggled with my weight my whole life and right now I have lost almost 100 pounds!!! The way I have done it is remove the guilt associated with food, eat only REAL food, no fake no fat free no sugar free, just real food, and eat sensible portions. Have snacks that really fuel your body, drink lots of water and it works!!! I also don’t own a scale because as women we have been conditioned to live by what the scale says. What I finally figured out is that if you eat well, exercise, and watch your portions the rest just comes. I know your post wasn’t about weight loss, but I just think that we are so conditioned as a nation to be looking for the “next big thing” that we have gotten away from the simplicity of real food. As families we don’t enjoy eating together anymore and everything is about fast, fast, fast. I commend you for standing up and saying that no food is bad!!! Thanks for keeping it real for all of us!
Thank you!!
Your post has been such a blessing to me and since I read it last week so much has been mulling around in my mind. I grew up in a home where my mother cooked “real” food because that’s how it was done growing up on a farm in Poland. Over the past few years I’ve become more in tuned with how our food is grown so it only made sense to expand my skills. Since cooking more traditionally, I have learned so many new skills along with making sure my family is eating well without stressing out the best I can.
Cooking from scratch has become a way for me to re-connect with my 88 yr old mom who now has altzheimer’s. I have memories of her pickling cucumbers, always drinking buttermilk, saving the bacon grease in a glass jar under the sink, and let me not forget taking cod liver oil or fresh brewer’s yeast. All this to say that although she ate well all her life, except during the war when she scavenged for a piece of bread and sur milk or dug for potatoes in someone’s field, that has not exempted her from this disease that doesn’t discrimate. Because of her war time experiences, she lived her life in survival mode all the time and never learned to reconcile those emotions nor had hope in a living God.
So the take away for me in your post, Jill, is that relationships are so much more important than if I soak the beans or grains tonight. If I get to do that while spending time with my daughter and passing on skills and making memories that’s a bonus. I would give anything right now to have a normal day in the kitchen with my mom like when I was 5 and I would come home from school for lunch and she made home made pizza just for me. Sadly, as the years passed and I grew up she didn’t share all the things she learned on a farm from the kitchen to the garden to bee keeping to spinning flax. So as stated earlier learning some of these skills brings me comfort as I use my mother’s cast iron pan. Having said that knowing God and having a relationship with Him is first and leaving that eternal legacy for my daughter.
Thank you for bringing back some beautiful memories that have long since been forgotten …. Blessings!
Great post! I was vegan for about four years and vegetarian for two more. Since then we’ve refocused our diet to become as organic and local as possible, but we’re far from strict! Recently I’ve been working on reducing the amount of wheat we consume as one of my daughters has been showing symptoms of intolerance, but as long as she can handle it, I am not interested in becoming wheat-free, but more aware of what we eat so we can eat each of the food groups in modest amounts. It is so easy to eat too much of one or two things! Anyway, thanks for sharing!
Can this dietitian just shout an “amen!” and hope it reaches across the ocean! (Reading in Budapest, Hungary)
Hello my dietitian friend! 🙂
I am so very thankful for this post. Just the other day i was talking with Jesus, I told Him, “Jesus i need you to clearly show me how i need to look at / use food in a way that honors you.” I too am an all or nothing personality and try so hard to get it all right with a lot of stress and fear mixed in. My mind gets into a knotted mess like in the examples you give – you describe my thought process exactly. I have said, “if i go by every food rule that is out there, there is nothing left to eat.” I am going to ask Jesus to help me approach food as you: “Therefore, I’ve decided to eat the best I can, with as little stress as possible, and trust God with the rest” and to trust him more. Thank you, a homesteader in heart taking baby steps to make it a reality.
Totally agree – I am soooo sick of seeing Paleo-everything when I look at recipes on Pinterest. Or why my homemade light wheat bread is so horrible for me because it’s not soaked. I’ve never had issues eating any bread product, so why should I go to such lengths to pre-ferment or soak it? I figure homemade is good enough. I don’t always feel good enough to make bread all the time or make my own yogurt or whatever. I hate being made to feel guilty (granted, no one’s forcing me to feel that way, but when I read all these articles and blogs, that’s the end result) because I resort to buying bread from a store when I was feeling like crap all week and didn’t get around to making bread. Not everyone can afford grass-fed beef or free-range eggs, either. You do the best you can with what you have and that should be good enough for anyone.
Thank you for writing this!! We are not all the same and therefore must have different ways to fulfill our nutritional needs. I enjoy eating nutritionally dense, local, homemade, in season foods because they taste the best that way…but that doesn’t mean I’m going to turn down a friends invitation for BBQ or when I visit my sister and she takes me out for Sushi!! We need to get out of the mindset of being on a prescribed “diet” and just change how we eat and the way we think of food. It doesn’t have to be the same thing for everyone, what is life without variety?
Hi Jill, I found your site via the guest post you did over at Wellness Mama. This is such a great post and it sums up how I felt too about food. I went through several different phases in my life with no dairy, or no meat, or no white flour, etc. And now, as Michael Pollan said, “Eat food. Not too much. Mostly plants.” We eat almost everything, and try to stick with whole foods as much as possible. My children still have goldfish or pizza as a special treat. A little variety is good in life 🙂
Amen Shirley! And thrilled that you hopped over from Wellness Mama!
Great to read your blog. You have expressed it well! Nancy
Oh my thank you…what bondage food and these extreme food plans have caused me.I am just starting to grasp onto just eating really food…that is AFFORDABLE for my family and not spending so. very. much. money on food we cannot. I would love organic grass fed everything, but it is not a reality. So many of the comments about doing the best we can and trusting god with our health and any healing is such lovely advice.
Thanks again..
“I buy bread,” she whispered in a creepy horror movie voice. Granted, it’s from a fantastic local bakery that makes it pretty much exactly like I do. And ya know what?? It’s great. My kids love it, and they think it’s the same as the whole grain white bread we used to buy. It’s one way I appease my oldest’s concerns that we’re total weirdos for making from scratch.
Thank you, thank you, and again, THANK YOU! I’m so ridiculously tired of food fads I could scream. Next we will be seeing the Bean-free diet.
I am related to people who legitimately have to be gluten free or dairy free, etc. or they will be sick. However, many are joining the bandwagon because it’s new and sounds good (my parents are now gluten free). I grew up being the victim of several crazy food fads, and I want no more of it. I, like yourself, take an even keeled view of food and refuse to be controlled by it. I’ve brought up my kids to be very cosmopolitan eaters. It makes them more sociable and more desired as guests because they keep an open mind. Thank you again- someone finally voiced my opinions!
Anna Marie
Amen, I say, with a smile and a nod 😉 We do have some dietary changes we follow because of my husbands diabetes. Should I weigh less and be healthier? Probably, and I know with certainty that eating LESS and maybe walking more would do more for that than anything else! I already move a LOT (I’m a farmer after all) but as I age, I find I need more.
And after all, we should be leaning on God, shouldn’t we? Not ourselves and whatever uber-control/management we can have over anything in our life.
At least I think so and I hope I’m saying it with kindness if I do disagree with someone else’s choices, as you just did in your post 😉
I absolutely loved this article and couldn’t agree with you more!! I had a similar episode with my husband and the bean brownies…lol…they were awful!
Thank you!! Such a refreshing viewpoint. I need to relax my standards a bit, if only for my sanity! lol
Thank You, just love what was said…
We need more people Like You Jill, I think the same way!
Thank you for putting my thoughts into words. I think the most important part of your rant is the 80/20 rule.
Yes, this is exactly where I have been until my husband began to have some sort of autoimmune problem that attacked his joints. I pretty much drove him crazy trying to feed a “perfect” diet, and he rebelled! Now, he is ready to listen, as 6wks on crutches and unbelievable pain has opened his mind to serious dietary changes. I know moderation is the absolute key..so, we are working with a naturopath and changing some things. I always felt that getting to wrapped up in this diet craze was sinful, as it could become a “god”…so, with that understanding, we are moving forward and trying hard to get our good health back. God does want us to care for our temples, but His Word tells us that anything that takes too much of our time, energy and devotion is just wrong and He is a jealous God. Thank you for provoking all of us to think deeper about this issue. God bless.
Thank you for this article. You have described my life and my way of eating.
I can relate to this. I was so relieved when I read the book about blood types, because the author said that no one diet can be good for everyone–we are not all the same. At that point, I started focusing on what works for us.
Thank you!
Yes, yes, yes!
Jill, pardon the pun but I just can’t resist. This post is such food for thought! haha!
I love your posts, keep them coming!!!!
PS. I do like the saying “everything in moderation”. That occurred to me while reading this.
Sue
Thanks for reading along, Sue!
Thank you for this post! I have studied Nutrition for years and my mind is boggled by the amount of conflicting information. This was a refreshing read and exactly what I needed.
My 2017 goals are to build sustainability in our diet rather than refuse certain food groups.
Love that goal, Nicole!
I love this post!! Everything in moderation! I went vegan for two years a few years back (for stomach issues) and seriously felt like I had an eating disorder. It was not mentally healthy in the end. Having certain foods in moderation keeps me feeling normal and I can keep stomach issues at bay.
Moderation is so key!
Awesome article! Thanks for being an advocate of balance and moderation in life 🙂
Who knew? We’ve been eating the 80/20 rule for fifty years. I grew up eating from the “fruithouse” (above ground cellar) in winter and off the tree in summer. We raised chicken, beef, rabbit and fished at the river below the house. I had no idea as a child we ate any differently than my peers.
When I got older and had my own family it just carried over and now my grandchildren are benefiting from the same diet. I hope they will continue the sensible eating style they have learned and benefited from, into adulthood.
I was trendy before trendy was popular!
Heck yes– love your balance, Christine!
Our real food journey has led us to a pretty strict paleo diet. 100% at home and 80% away from home. We have some family history We’d like to avoid and we feel better all around the stricter we are. Our daughter has only ever been paleo but shes also 2. When she gets older she’ll be able to also follow the 80/20 rule at church and peoples houses with the exception of gluten and allergies. I definitely agree that there is no one size fits all. It all depends on what you feel best eating and what your values are. And i appreciate that you point out that you dont feel off after eating wheat. If you know your family doesnt have an issue, its not worth stressing about! The ultimate goal is to feel healthy. Perfect health isnt possible in todays world.
Amen!
THANK YOU!!! I feel like you read my mind. This has pretty much been my exact path and it’s nice to know that I’m not the only one. We’ve realized that we just have to find what works best for us and do that! 🙂
AMEN! I agree we tend to get so carried away, standing on our soapbox and ruining our lives!! I used to love to cook and I have to say I was a pretty good cook. Since I have tried to eliminate everything and can’t afford most of the things I should be cooking, I have lost my love of cooking and now I have to really struggle to figure out what to cook for my family. God gave the Israelites strict guidelines, but lifted those in the New Testament, giving us the freedom to eat what we want. Yes, some things don’t agree with all people and some people just don’t like some foods. Since sin entered into this world, everything has been “contaminated” to a point. After all, isn’t that why we pray before we eat!!! I’m tired of obsessing over all of it and just want to get back to enjoying food and fellowship with my family and friends. Thank you for helping me not beat myself up because I feel this way. Thanks so much for you send to us. I really look forward to getting your emails.
you & me both Patti ~ i used to tolerate cooking – but now i absolutely hate it. thanks for being brave & putting in what God says about food … i chickened out ‘cuz like Jill said about politics & religion.
I thoroughly enjoyed this article. It was almost like you were reading my thoughts. We were awakened to our bad eating habits when my daughter was diagnosed hypoglycemic and I am glad that we were shown a better way to eat. We had basically gotten lazy and settled for a lot of processed food. Now, I want to say that we are on a provisional diet. We eat what the Lord provides. There are some wonderful foods we just cannot get or grow in my area and that we cannot afford. Its kinda like, “eat apples from the store that we have to wash or all of us split the one organic apple and be happy for the month.” So, like you, we eat the best we can, given what we have. Thanks for letting me relax a little too.
Love your philosophy, Denise!
bless your sweet heart … i’m gonna print this one & stick it in the very front of my recipe collection cookbook to remind myself i’m not alone in my feelings on the “food subject” ~ ~ ~ i’ve often wondered why folks get so caught up in it all & downright belligerent over such a simple daily need. THANK YOU SO MUCH for this one.
You are so welcome!
Blogs need a “like” button. Well said.
Thanks Kedryn! 🙂
Amen, Jill! I totally agree with your diet rationale.
This just out from Joe Mercola – should make you feel better about the wheat dilemma:
http://articles.mercola.com/sites/articles/archive/2017/01/22/how-to-safely-bring-wheat-back-into-your-diet.aspx?utm_source=wnl&utm_medium=email&utm_content=art3&utm_campaign=20170202Z1&et_cid=DM132583&et_rid=1868081425
As a GAPS practitioner, I have two thoughts:
– you probably don’t have many digestive problems and can digest most of what you eat therefore you’re one of the lucky ones. Many people will need a healing diet that excludes certain foods before they can join you in that world. The good news is this diet is only temporary.
-the level of toxicity on our world seems to be increasing so keeping the digestive system (immune system) in tip top shape is important as we seek to continually remove toxins from our body. Your approach will likely do that since you know the value of avoiding processed food when possible AND including fermented food in the diet. Your children will thank you when they grow up!
Love your common sense approach to food!
Love this Mary Lynn– thanks for sharing your thoughts!
Well said, Jill. We have been in the natural health and wellness industry for almost 38 years. We wanted our clients/customers to see that we “lived” what we preached, so we tried hard to “follow the rules”. However, we, like you, found that eating a healthy diet became like an impossible science for us because there were so many different schools of thought regarding this, as you mentioned. So we finally settled on “doing our best and not making a science out of the rest”. It has worked well for us, and we are at peace with it. Thanks for the post.
You nailed it, Kathy!
Hahaha! We are right there with ya! There are so many “free” diets..Gluten Free, dairy Free, meat free… I tell people my family is on a Free diet too…Best one of them all…We are Free to Eat Everything diet! I thank Heaven that we have been blessed that we don’t seem to have any food allergies and my goal is the 80/20 idea, but for now, I do the best I can… If I’m not home to make home made Mac&Cheese for lunch, I admit, we have a few of those blue boxes on the shelf my young daughter can handle or my husband…. and there is ALWAYS a Giant basket of Fresh Fruits available year round with the basic Apples, oranges and bananas they can eat free for all… Thanks for your post, gave me a few good laughs.
Love your balance, Ashley!
Well said!
Amen! In order to eat perfectly you can’t just eat to live you need to live, and I mean spend your entire existence growing, sourcing and cooking, to eat! I have a couple other things to occupy my time, like kids and the need to pay the mortgage. Haha!
This re-post comes at a great time for me, as I am in the process of completely revamping how my family of 6 eats, moving toward eating food the way God created it and not the food we’ve re-created. I too suffer from perfectionism and needed the reminder that I don’t need to eat perfectly in order to be making progress. Thanks!
Not to mention we probably shouldn’t breath the air around us
I use to be a junk cook, but met a reasonable health guy 28 years ago. I started cooking from scratch, (tastes better) eating fresh and trying to do organic or kosher meat when possible. I am 58 and don’t need meds, I blame him (and our happy marriage).
We do a good 80/20 and it is good for our mental health as well. I confess to getting Big Mac Attacks, but 2 a year won’t kill me.
Gmo s have been around for centuries, check out old art pictures of fruit. That watermelon hardly had any pink inside.
Great post
Exactly– there are other parts of life besides food– no matter how much I might enjoy it. 😉 You got this, Holly!
I’m a little late to this “party,” but what I just read is great. My husband and I have had this same conversation for several years. I do a lot of cooking from scratch, always have, but some seasons in life are just hard and when it doesn’t happen one can’t beat themselves up over it. Moderation is the word in our house, homemade as much as possible, but even then it’s Moderation 🙂 Thank you for a great article.