As many of you know from my recent Facebook posts, we butchered our steer this past weekend.
First off, let me give you a little background info.
I was a Vet Tech for two years before becoming pregnant with Prairie Baby. I’ve helped mercifully end the lives of more animals than I can even recall. I’ve assisted with all manner of surgeries and procedures, from spaying and neutering to bovine C-Sections involving dead baby calves… As a result, it’s nearly impossible to find much of anything animal-related that “grosses me out.”
I enjoy hunting, and have personally shot, gutted, and skinned three antelope.
I gave my hubby the “ok” to put down two of our own horses, one being my very first horse, whom I purchased at the age of 14.
I’m no stranger to blood, guts, and… death.
Yet last Wednesday night when hubby told me that he had locked up our steer so we could shoot him the next day, I couldn’t help but feel a twinge of sadness.
It’s not that I had an especially close bond the steer. We had only had him since the summer, and he could be rather rude at times.
But I saw him every day when I went to the barn to do chores, and I had even trained him to stand back and wait while I milked Oakley the Cow. He was a living creature that I “knew.” He had eyes, and a heart, and a personality.
Yet, when the time came, I held the rope as hubby put him down. He went calmly and quietly, with a mouthful of alfalfa hay between his teeth.
I’ve been pondering this all week- on one hand, I was incredibly excited to butcher a beef ourselves for the first time. On the other hand, I felt rather sorry to see him go. But, I’ve come to the conclusion that my conflicting feelings are nothing to be ashamed of.
I don’t ever want to get to the point where I am completely calloused to the cycles of life and death.
Let’s face it– all the meat we eat had eyes, a heart, and a personality at some point– whether you are the one to cut it up and put it in the freezer or someone else does.
In our modern culture, we are so incredibly detached from that concept. To most people, hamburger comes from, well, hamburger. Most definitely NOT from a living, breathing cow. We don’t want to think about that part– That’s just gross.
I think that any person who eats meat should take part in a butchering process at least once. Perhaps we would all be less wasteful and more mindful of what we eat if we had a first-hand role in it’s living AND dying…
For the homesteaders out there who are a little nervous about your first butchering day, let me share a few of the ways I reconcile the process in my mind:
1. Homestead animals generally live a very good life, compared to their industrial counterparts. Our steer had 60 acres of wide open space to graze, run, and play on right up until the very end. He had “cow friends” to hang out with, and he never spent a day in a crowded feedlot.
2. Home-raised meat is usually fed higher quality feed, which results in healthier animals. Our steer was 100% grassfed, which means he ate the way that cows are meant to eat his entire life. He never ate any grain or by-products like most commercial cows do. That equals a healthier cow and better meat for us.
3. Homestead animals generally have more peaceful deaths. Our steer breathed his last breath only about 30 feet from his big round-bale feeder. His end was swift and calm. Animals live in the moment, and Mr. Steer had no idea what was coming next.
4. In the home-butchering process, usually little is wasted. From our steer, friends took most of the internal organs and the horns, I saved a bunch of the fat to render into tallow (post on that coming next week!), and we saved many of the bones to turn into beef stock.
5. If you eat meat, it has to come from somewhere. Why not from sustainably-raised, happy animals? I would rather eat a cow that I know was fed properly and allowed to fully be a cow, than the “mystery meat” from the grocery store.
The other side of my first 100% home butchering experience?
It was incredibly empowering to do it ourselves for the first time. Yes, it was.
I’ve said it before, one of my most favorite parts of homesteading is learning and honing our skills, and this was no exception.
My mouth was watering as we cut up the steaks and roasts. Our little ol’ grassfed Jersey steer gave us some lovely looking meat with plenty of marbling.
So to wrap it all up? There is nothing to be embarassed about if you feel a little sad when you butcher Mr. Steer, or Mr. Pig, or Mr. Chicken for the first time. Acknowledge the feelings, and then enjoy the experience of learning a skill that is fast becoming extinct in our modern culture. You’ll be happy and empowered that you did!
Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’ve got to go throw some steaks on the grill. 
Interested in more butchering info? Look for a How to Render Beef Tallow post next week, as well as a review of some AWESOME home butchering DVDs!
About Jill Winger
What a great post. It definitely feels very bittersweet eating meet from an animal I know… though I’ve never been so up-close and personal w/ a cow I was going to eat before.
It helps to know, though, that they’ve had a good life as compared to one of the sad and mal-treated factory animals.
Keep up the good work!
Excellent post. We decided last year we’d rather kill one or two large animals for a year or so’s worth of meat, than 60 chickens (after butchering for our home and my mothers, we’d done over 80). It hit home that it’s a life per meal, and that’s just a hard thing to wrap our minds around. We will still butcher our animals, and hunt, and still love chicken, but decided that we’d rather treat those meals with a higher “life cost” as a treat instead of a mainstay. I’m not sure if I’m explaining this well, but life is life, and it should be treated with respect in our opinion.
Great post. I’ve never butchered an animal…and don’t live in an area where I could do that. This is a new thing to me..however, I agree with you about the quality of the meat. I also think it’s important to know where food comes from. How did you learn to do the butchering at home? Love and hugs from the ocean shores of California, Heather
This post was very good. I totally agree that raising your own is much more humane. However we have been blessed with little jersey heifers so they’re worth a lot more alive!
When our most recent calf was born I thought she was a bull and immediately my heart sank. I know I will have to butcher someday and would actually like to raise some Red Poll so thank you for the encouragement. It’s so nice knowing that your food had the best life possible.
Loved this post. Shared it on my facebook wall and twitter, for my readers, too. It’s great to see others who value sustainable living and are sharing their experiences. Keep up the great work!
Thanks so much for sharing the post.
Blessings!
Great post.
I’ve never butchered anything I’ve raised on my own. I remember watching as my dad ‘dressed’ (?) a buck he killed when I was a girl.
I’ve cut up a chicken I bought from the store. I’ve never butchered one that I’ve raised. I have chickens– and we have them with the intent to do just that. However,… I must confess I’ve not read up on how to kill, clean, and store a chicken. If I don’t read up on it– then my chicken will die and go to chicken heaven right? and I won’t have to eat it? But then what a waste right?
Crazy I know. I’ve just procrastinated in that area. Now, I’m becoming the chicken!
I enjoyed reading this post– you’ve addressed some of the feelings I’ve been having– finding the balance in all of it.
I’ll read more as you post. I need all the encouragement I can find!
Pat
Hehe Pat– chicken heaven.
I’ve never butchered a chicken, either. Mostly because my hubby is allergic to poultry so we don’t eat much of it. When my last batch of hens wore out, I gave them away. But, I imagine the day is coming eventually…
I would have a hard time butchering that adorable steer. I fell in love with it just through the pictures.
I was going to ask you about chickens…because we have 17 of them right now and it is time to start butchering! I am sad to see that you havent had the experience, because I had lots of questions for you. This would be our first time butchering the chickens. We bought the fertilized eggs from a micro farm for one of our broody hens. From them, we got 19 chicky-babies. We lost 4 within the first couple of weeks and then one to a hawk. Now, the “chicky babies” are bigger than our original hens. It is time to start butchering – we’re just so concerned that we would do it wrong or inhumanely, no matter how many videos we watch on it!
I love this post – thank you so much for writing it. Because I feel the conflict in my heart just as you did.
Yes, I hope to add chicken butchering to my skill list someday! Best of luck with your butchering process.
Meg – I hope your chicken butchering went well –
If you have been holding off, let me know. I’ve got some experience there, and would love to help if I can.
Nice! It is healthy and appropriate to feel sadness and ambivalence. I actually feel worse about the trip my boys have to make to the slaughterhouse – i hate that they have to have the fearful experience of being trailered to a strange place. I really feel for the animals who have to endure the experience of the auction barn, then hauling someplace else for slaughter. A long, frightening process for them…
Agree 110% about the difference in quality of life – I really struggle to eat commercially raised meat now that I know better. And, I have a new reverence for the meat itself – I’m very careful to not waste or mishandle the meat…… it means too much to me.
Yes, “reverence” is a great way to put it! It really makes me identify with our homesteading ancestors and understand how they felt. And animal like that would have truly been a feast and a blessing.
My family lives on a farm and it is part of life. We usually have enough to get by till one falls or something and then we butcher again. We also eat lots of deer. I remember one sheep though who was a “pet” and there were a few kids who wanted cereal every time they knew we were eating Pete!
Awesome post….and so well explains the way I feel EVERY time we butcher an animal here on our place. It’s never a “fun” thing, but we know it’s necessary and part of our lives. The feeling behind the task often gets overlooked or ignored, it’s nice to have it “out there” and acknowledged.
Enjoy those steaks!
Great post! I love the perspective you share. We’re not callous to it–we’re perhaps even more aware of the impacts of what we’re doing. I always have that “unsettled” feeling when it comes time for one of our animals to be processed (by us, or sold to someone else for the same reason). But it is part of life. I think it’s to our credit that we make every effort to be humane about it throughout their life and even in their death. We know exactly what was involved in bringing that food to our plate and whether we consider it an acceptable process that involved respect for life or not.
Absolutely Jamie. I’m not sure if I’ll ever loose that “unsettled” feeling, and that’s just fine with me.
Or you could just not eat meat. Its not really necessary, is it?
I haven’t ingested the flesh of mammals since 1992 and feel so much better because of it, both physically and spiritually. I get my protein from egg/fish and have no desire to end the life of anything other than that fish which I absolutely can catch and clean myself.
I live on a farm too, and have chickens and horses and other critters and bees and a garden. I have a lovely organic and varied diet.
I don’t begrudge anyone to live another way and respect the rights of cow and pig eating people and I absolutely agree…eating meat is too sanitized for most consumers. I love your idea of butchering something just once. If you can kill it, you can eat it. If you allow someone else to do it for you, maybe you shouldn’t eat it either.
Metaphysically cows understand they sometimes have this “job” to nourish humans. It is their daily life and care that is paramount and for that, I commend your principles.
“Metaphysically cows understand they sometimes have this “job” to nourish humans.”
I really like that. It is a job, and a very important one. I’d like to think the cows and other animals my family and I eat understand that and take pride in it. What a peaceful thought.
I really enjoyed your post. I agree that we enjoy a much better tasting and to me, healthier meat that we grow ourselves. We butcher our own chickens, turkeys, venison, and goats but have not tried beef. We take them to a butcher friend. Only because we don’t have access to an area or tools to do this. We appreciate our animals and treat them very well. While it is sad to know they have to die to feed us, we don’t dwell on it. We named them t-bone and hamburger and our kids always knew that those would end up in the freezer.
My husband and I raised our first beef cow this past summer. I know when we were building the fence I instantly had a better understanding (not completely of course) of what our ancestors had to do every day of their lives to just live. It gives you a greater appreciation of everything we have in our lives today and it also empowers you to know that maybe you could survive if it all went away tomorrow. So even though yes it was heartbreaking (my husband did the deed and I watched from afar- I was worried about how he felt, more than myself) that fact that we raised the cow in a friendly, free, calming way, and that the meat we were eating was free of mystery items, and I said a prayer to God for what we were receiving, made the experience worth it. We plan on raising another this Spring – maybe two so they have company.
Very well said Lois– it truly does give you a greater appreciation, and I also found myself in a rather worshipful mood as we were cleaning the carcass. I felt so thankful to be able to have a good source of meat, and also, everytime I see the internal workings of an animal, formed by our Creator, it amazes me.
Lovely write up, I feel the same way when I butcher on my farm, you just were able to explain it in better words then I. I agree that I wish everyone would or could help butcher at least once and do feel that it would indeed change the thoughts on wasting food. I have a great respect for every single thing that can be used.
Thanks so much for sharing this. I grew up in the country but after graduation I became a town girl. I won’t say how long it’s been, but it’s been a while since I have lived in the country. My husband and I just bought 40 acres about 3 and 1/2 years ago. My husband was a city boy so this was all new to him. I have to say he has done a wonderful job at tranforming into a country boy. We have already butchered chickens and will be raising a steer this year to butcher. It’s nice to know that I’m not the only one that gets a little sad when it comes to butchering.
Really wonderful post…Thanks for sharing. For me, my first visit with farm “reality” was when I raised a beef steer for 4-H. I chose not to show or sell at the local fair so instead we sent “Spunky” off to the slaughter house and processor. I helped my mother pressure can the beef but then I couldn’t eat it. Now…as an adult…I am grateful for all our animals and respect their lives and the nourishment they give us. I’ve learned to never give a pet-type name to an animal I know we’re going to process but sometimes they do get names like “pork chop, prime rib, or baa burger”. Keeps reality in focus for me and our grandchildren!
Love the site and the insight you share! Thank you!
Yes, I made it clear we were not going to name the steer the day we brought him home! But, I’ve heard of many a meat animal named “Porkchop” or “Ribeye”. That works too.
Great post (coming from this vegetarian) You said everything perfectly. Respecting the life that is given so another can live is a great gift. Even thanking the plants is important(not too woo woo I hope for folks to see where I am coming from) Gratitude, respect whatever one calls it is important. And I enjoyed seeing how you had plans that nothing would be wasted. Thanks for sharing this and all you share with us. (from an “urban- trying to be Homestead” in south Minneapolis!)
You are very welcome Theresa! As I said before, I really appreciate the supportive comments from the vegetarians. That means a lot to me!
Great post! I have to say though, that I’m really glad DH is around to do the killing because I honestly don’t know if I could do it myself. But I agree that everybody should take part in the butchering process at least once!
Yes, I am thankful that my hubby pulled the trigger- I wouldn’t relish doing that part….
You have articulated my own experiences when butchering animals beautifully. Well said!
-Laura at TenThingsFarm
I’m a vegetarian homesteader, but I totally admire and respect how you approached this. Wonderful and thoughtful post.
Thank you. I really appreciate the vegetarians who are commenting on this post with understanding. I was a little worried I would have an angry mob coming after me, but I really appreciate the responses thus far!
You got it so right. I grew up with farming and raising live stock for the purpose of feeding the family.
I do recall though finding out what really happened to our pet pig! He was a runt and was still quite small by pig standards when he decided to become breakfast! We used to tie a gunny sack around him, hold onto his ears and go for a pig ride and he got so excited when he saw us coming out to play.
My family now relies totally on deer and elk meat. The guys in my house to the killing part, I take it from there. Have butchered more chickens than I care to count, but the flavor is far superior to grocery store chicken.
Thanks for this post-it really is a very good one.
Oh, how cute about your pet pig. I think I would have a hard time eating an animal like that!
I did try to keep my distance from the steer, although I kind of got attached to him anyway. It was inevitable, I guess.
It’s natural and healthy you feel Something when you kill your animals – it helps to maintain the respect and dignity of the process. I’m not yet at a point where I could do it, despite also having been a vet tech, animal caretaker and ranch hand who has ended the suffering of very sick or injured animals. It’s another thing entirely to kill a healthy animal for food, I think, especially one we’ve known.
I have been a part of deaths that did not go well at all – errors on the human side – and those still haunt me some nights. Clean, humane deaths are nothing to be ashamed of, especially since you gave him a good life while he was with you.
As so many have said here, it’s important to be aware that meat used to be alive, and our culture does not reinforce that at all. Thanks Jill for another good post.
Yes, sometimes the “deaths” can go horribly wrong… I think most people try to take as many precautions as they can to prevent that, but sometimes it happens anyway. I’m thankful that our steer went so easily.
You are so right, all meat has eyes, a heart, and a personality! I mean, I’ve thought of the fact that my meat was an animal and I try to think about it as much as I can, but you really hit the nail on the head with this post. It IS sad and eating meat makes me want to cry sometimes, but you’re really right about being a part of the animals life and death, and it’s so much better to give an animal a better life before you eat it than to eat the mystery meat. Thank you so much for sharing this with us and thank you for the free ebook!
Great post! As of yet we’ve only culled a couple of chickens, but it has definitely changed our perspective on what it takes…to raise, to cull…the whole experience. I think there’s nothing like fresh meat that has had a good life. Good stuff.
I believe that we honor the life of an animal when we give them dignity in life and in death. Thank you for continuing that tradition here.
What a sweet post! I really admire your raising and killing your own animals. Looks like he lived a great life and looks tasty too!
We have chickens and if we let them have babies we’re going to have to eat the roosters…people say too many roosters will fight each other to the death.
Everyone in my family wants to try homegrown meat, and to be honest, I’d like to try it to. I’d appreciate it a lot more & it’s higher quality. Store bought meat freaks me out after learning about the food industry…
Love the post. Love your perspective. I can’t do what you did. I’m not brave enough. But then, I haven’t eaten a cow or a pig for over thirty years.
I have year-old hens that give me an egg every day. Trying to figure out if after their egg-producing life is over they should become like dogs (love ‘em and feed ‘em every day) or…dinner for my friends. When you think about it, it gets hard. When you don’t think about it, you go to McDonalds.
Loved this article… enjoy them all, but this one touched my spirit. I have also butchered many furry friends here on the farm. I’ve raised pigs, steers, and recently even had to let go of one of my dairy cows due to feed prices out here in the desert. It is a heart tugging act to put them down, but the gift they give us is amazing! I haven’t eaten store beef in MANY years and raise my fork at each meal offering thank to the animal on the table that night. I loved the butchering table you set up!!! GREAT JOB AND GREAT BLOG!!!! Keep it up!
Nance Sparks w/ Homesteader’s Supply!
Wonderful post. I’m a born and raised vegetarian, but married to a meat eater. On our homestead, I want very much to learn the same skills as you, even though I myself wouldn’t be eating the meat. I want to learn how to butcher, but often wondered how I’d feel. I’m glad to see you voice those feelings. My husband wonders why I want to raise and kill meat when I can just buy it for him… Well, for all the reasons you discussed above.
We raised a pig for meat this yeat for the first time. We it came time to do the *deed* we sent her out to be processed. Hubby is just now starting to eat *PIG* because he was so attached to her. She had lots of personality and was a very happy pig. (Tastey too!)
I’m not sure that we could ever *do the deed* ourselves unless absolutely nessesary. We still have so much to learn.
Have a blessed week in THE LORD!
Amanda
Matthew 6:
No doubt this will live in my mind as one of the most well written posts I have read on ‘the hop’.
Wow, I am honored.
Thank you so much. <3
Wow! You voiced so many of the emotions I feel about adding animals… right now I’d be limited to a few hens living in the city anyway. I cry when an animal dies in a movie and I’ve always imagined that on a farm the cows, goats, pigs, chickens, etc. would probably become more like pets and I’d have a graveyard out back rather a full meat freezer. I don’t have many qualms about meat and with instruction I could handle the butchering, it’s just being the one to do the actual killing that gives me pause. You’ve surely given me something to ponder.
Our family lives on a very small bit of acreage and we would like to raise a Jersey or Holstein bull for meat for our family. Would you be able to tell me about how much meat you can expect from raising a Jersey bull and how long you raised him? Some friends of ours did it and didn’t have much success but it seems that you did it. Thanks
Hi Kelly-
Unfortunately, we didn’t weigh the finished amount of meat- although I will say that we were pleasantly surprised at our yield. The steaks and roasts probably weren’t quite as big as they would have been on a beef breed, but the Jersey definitely held his own! Perhaps if we would have raising a beef steer side by side, we would have noticed a bigger difference, but as of right now, we got plenty of meat to last our family quite a while.
He was 20 months old when we butchered him- we probably could have done it a bit sooner, but the schedule didn’t allow… I know that lots of people raise/eat dairy breed steers with good luck, so I definitely think it’s worth a try!
My husband and I just bought 5 acres “in the country” last summer. We plan to raise a variety of animals for food, but so far all we have are pets (4 dogs, 2 cats).
Yesterday afternoon my six year old daughter and I were discussing our plans for the animals we want to raise. I asked her if she would be able to help out with the animals, i.e. feeding them, cleaning up after them, milking them, gathering eggs. When she agreed that she wanted to help do all of those things, I told her that eventually we will have to kill the animals and cut them up for food. A look of horror crossed her face as she looked at the dogs. I assured her we won’t kill or eat the dogs, they’re just pets, but the livestock will be food. She claimed she didn’t like meat, but I reminded her about how much she loves chicken, jerky, etc. She seemed to feel conflicted about that for a few minutes, but eventually decided that she really does enjoy meat. She just hasn’t had to consider where it comes from yet. I’m looking forward to raising our own food for a several reasons, but a big reason is the learning experience for my kids. I want them to have a greater appreciation for the food that they eat, and understand how much healthier home grown (and raised) food is for them.
JIll,
We will be butchering our steer soon and we will have to kill and hang him but someone else will be doing the butchering part. Do you have any recommendations as to a resource if we chose to do it all ourselves. I would like to know how to do it all by ourselves but also don’t want to mess anything up because we don’t know. I hope that makes sense. Thanks
Tara- YES! Perfect timing– I am posting a review on some home butchering how-to DVDs on Friday! Stay tuned
Wow Jill, some how I missed this post when it first went up but thank you so very much for sharing. We have animals that we raise for meat but we always send them away to be butchered (mostly because we actually sell the meat and here in Ontario it must be butchered at an inspected facility to be legal for sale) but I’ve always wanted to be able to do the stuff for ourselves, well, ourselves! My husband is a life-long farmer so he has seen/done it all and it doesn’t bother him (like yourself, not that he doesn’t “care”, but he understands and respects the cycle of life) I on the other hand, need some time to deal with the idea. Once an animal is dead, I can do all the butchering ect, but I feel like it’s my duty to be there for the WHOLE process. Like you pointed out, most people are so out of touch with the life of their steak, they have no concept that it once lived. I feel like if I’m going to consume it, I need to be able to do it from beginning to end, if for no other reason, than out of respect for the life of that animal. I don’t ever want to take my meat for granted. Yet, I’ve still not found the courage to “be there.” Although, I can say I’ve started moving in the right direction with coyote hunting. Recently we’ve had big problems with them roaming our property and killing our livestock, so I have been out hunting with my husband and our friends although we haven’t caught anything yet (they don’t call them “wily” for nothing) I’m prepared to witness and help with the procedure.
Anyway, long story short this post has motivated me and reaffirmed my reasons for wanting to be present for the whole process, even when I “knew” the animal. Thank you.
Hi Marie!
I think your thoughts are very valid– and I totally understand your conflicting feelings. I think the courage will come eventually, as you work through the thought process more. I think it’s admirable that you wish to be there for the entire process, but if you have to slowly work up to that point, I think that is perfectly fine, too.
Love your blog, btw!
Thanks very much Jill
That means a lot coming from such a successful blogger!
I teared up a little reading this post… If more people had a heart for what they ate we could all put an end to factory farms.
We made the decision to never buy factory farmed pork again. That meant doing without for years until we found an Amish farmer who would sell us a hog. We now have a hook-up for grassfed beef, too. My husband hunts, and it always made me happier to eat something that spent its last few moments running along until suddenly..!
We’re in town, so no farming. I don’t think I have the Big Girl Pants for it anyway. Kudos to you and your family.
Good for you Laura- love that you put your foot down when it comes to factory pork– it’s all about voting with our dollars.
I truly appreciate finding this blog. Dear Hubby and I are looking to purchase a little piece of land and do what your doing. Both of my parents were raised on farms and wanted more for their kids and moved to a city. Long story short i am 47 years old and can no longer ignore the need for our family to be more self reliant. We have lots of plans as we try to decide the best place to set up our homestead. I have found answers to hundreds of questions only to find hundreds more wait for answers. My most recent concern was clearly identified here…,so thank you. I am sure that I will spend many hours pouring through every one of your posts…
Hi Rhoda,
SO glad that you found me! Isn’t it funny how 2 or 3 generations ago, people were moving to the city for a ‘better life,’ and now we are doing the exact opposite? Anyway, best of luck on your homesteading journey, and I look forward to seeing you around the blog!
You put this so well! I also think that every meat-eater should at least watch an animal being butchered. Most people think that its too gross or they “just couldn’t do it”, but that is just leaving the hard work to other people who have to kill animals all day every day at the slaughter house. We’ve been killing chickens for 5 years and I still give them a little cuddle before my husband chops off their head. And like you say, when you do it yourself, you appreciate every piece of the animal. Thanks also for your tallow post, I will be referring to that when we kill our next steer, I tried to render last time, but we didn’t get it right.
Thank you for this post! We’ve butchered cows and chickens, and I felt exactly like you both times. It’s good to know that the feeling doesn’t go away…and that it’s better that way. It’s easy to overlook the meat that is anonymous at the grocery store and not care about the sacrifice that was made. “Knowing” our food is harder, maybe, but it allows us to really appreciate their life, and treat our animals with value.
My feelings exactly Cheri. Well put.
I have skinned, gutted, and butchered many deer in my life, and i’ve only been hunting since I was 15 (i’m 21 now). My husband and I were planning on getting a few cows this year for meat, but I was worried about the heart break I would feel after raising it. My in laws had 4 (named Mutt, Jeff, Ribeye, and Burger =]) and I was sad when we had butchered them, but you are right, it’s okay to feel that way. I would rather feel a little sad than not feel anything. Thank you for this post! I can’t wait for us to do it ourselves next year for us and our Bug (our 2 year old girl)
Yep- a little sadness is perfectly healthy, I think.
Good for you for doing it yourself- it really is empowering!
I raise my own lambs and cows and I think it makes me more respectful of the animal and less wasteful. I find it hard to send my lambs to be slaughtered but I find comfort knowing that they were very well treated and not pumped full of chemicals. I think it is really improtant to understand the basic fact that MEAT COMES FROM ANIMALS.
Yes indeed Emma- I think that many people honestly don’t really grasp that their grocery store meat still came from a living, breathing animal, even if they never met it… It’s never easy to slaughter, but like you said, so much easier when we know that the animals had a good life.
We only have egg laying chickens but, as you know, there are occasions for butchering even those. And I hate it. I hold my hen until she’s totally calm, put a loop of cord around her feet, turn her upside down and hang the cord on the fence. Then I hold her head while I slit her throat and hold her body while she bleeds out. All the while she remains completely calm and I have tears streaming down my cheeks. But I know, like Joel Salatin says, my animals had a great life… and one bad day. I have seen my chickens killed by hawks, bears and fox. Death happens every day and while I most certainly do not like being the instrument of any animal’s death I know it keeps me connected to reality.
We will butcher our first round of rabbits a week from now. I always tell my husband, “I will be somewhere in town, far from here!” Just so I won’t have to feel sad feelings of the death that will be going on. But I now have a change of heart. I love hearing how you were with yours on this day, helping him, as a team. So, I will be here on that day, I won’t bail on him like I was going to do, out of my own selfish desires. I’m sure he appreciates this post, even though he didn’t read it. Thank you! And wish me luck
Way to go Beth! Like I mentioned in the post, it’s not my favorite thing to do, but I feel better taking part in it and it really gives me more of a respect for the animal and the meat. You are awesome.
I am just now reading this post, but it gives me courage. We don’t live where we we could keep animals…. well, that’s not entirely true. We have no zoning in our tiny little town, but we don’t have the space for anything more than chickens and I’m not sure how economical raising just a couple of chickens would be for us.
Anyway, that said, I was a vegetarian for years simply because I couldn’t stand the thought of being the reason anything had to die. I’ve since began eating meat again a few years ago. (I married the son of a cattle farmer, so it’s probably for the best!) I have been trying to talk myself into going hunting with my husband for the first time because I’d feel better about eating wild game. However, I’m really afraid that I’ll cry if I get a deer. My husband says that he thinks my frugal side will win out when I see the amount of food we’ll be putting in our freezer. Perhaps he’s right, but I REALLY don’t want to be the sobbing female in the hunting group!!!
This is why I can not be a carnavor. I nearly starved to death as a kid because I refused to eat “another soul”, on the farm. It is troubling to me that people can kill and eat their “pets”. ..and we wonder why it has become so easy for people to kill other people these days…after all, are we not just another mammal?
Very well said.
Gee…I don’t think I could do it…those big brown eyes would haunt me for months. I think I need to become a vegetarian or at the very least never buy from the big commercial store chains again because I know the animals there suffer so. I don’t even think I could butcher Mr. Chicken, if I had chickens it would be for nice brown eggs. But hats off to you for humanely raising and killing your animal with little or no waste. I just don’t think I could do it I get to attached to creatures.
“The paradoxical nature of my hunting points to similar paradoxes: the people who most love roses, who spend hours pruning them, kill them; the people who most love vegetables are those who grow, kill and eat them; the men who most love waterfowl, who adorn their den walls with paintings of ducks and geese, who study and observe them for decades, who invest in their habitat and protection, also kill and eat them. Not much different than the hunting peoples whose myths, songs, art, adornments, dance and language imitate and celebrate the sacred animals they kill. This is paradoxical only to the men and women who live from the head, suffering from centuries of separation from Nature and thus their true nature.”
LOVE this quote Britt! Thanks for sharing it– where did it come from?
From one of Dr. Randall Eaton’s books.
Both my parents were raised on farms where if they didn’t kill it they didn’t eat. If they didn’t grow it they didn’t eat. Some things were traded but most things were grown and butchered. I could never understand how someone could do that but I do know that the beef I ate at my grandfather’s was better than any I have had in my life. I didn’t eat any of the beef that had his name on the label, that was too difficult for me. I do think I could kill a chicken or any animal for that matter if I was hungry. There was a great site I went to about covering the chicken’s head and tying down their legs, etc. I am just such a clutz that I would probably cut my hand off instead. Oiy!
Thanks for the great post!
The “good life” argument actually makes it harder for me. I’m taking it from a very happy life. Conventional animals are in agony, so they are being released from terrible pain/torture (in my mind, at least), but this animal was happy and could have been happy so much longer…
I’m coming a little late to this, but I too love the way you look at it, a good life means a better end. I have always felt the same way about hunting.
I notice you said 100% grassfed (no grains/other feed). I believe Wyoming gets nasty winters, though I don’t think as bad as our Toronto, Canada ones. How did you carry your steer over the winter? I have long wanted to add a dairy cow for milk, and raise the resultant calves as meat. Everything I have been able to find online says that for it to be worth raising the meat, you have to wait until they finish well over a year, or almost 2 years. How do you carry over the winter and not completely break the bank feeding over winter. I would hate to spend more raising a butcher animal than I could buy good meat for to begin with.
Sorry that was long winding, loving your blog to death!
Hi Mishikall,
We’ve been butchering at about 18 months. We do havde to feed hay in the winter, however– our winters are long as well. Right now we are feeing a mix of grass hay, but sometimes have some alfalfa in there as well. It does cost more, but it’s our only option here.
<3 Thanks
My husband, two kids, and I are planning on making a big move, this coming year. We have wanted to live the life of a homesteader, for quite a while, and we will be able to do so, real soon! We will be going from suburbs of Chi-town to moving out West! I am all about living a sustainable life and eating everything organic and buying from local farmers, who treat their animals with love and care. However, my only fear is having to say goodbye to the farm animals. I’m not going to lie, after reading your blog about butchering your cow, I was all in tears. I, completely, agree with your post but I know it will be so hard for me to do it. I told my husband that I will need one cow, pig, chicken and turkey that are just pets. The rest can be eaten.
P.S. I LOVE your blog!!!
I totally understand where you are coming from as I love ALL animals, but if you are raising animals to be self sustained, particular animals like pigs and turkeys are generally only “good” for meat, though rather cute
If you want a pig for a pet, you could consider a pot belly pig, as they can be just like dogs, and protective of property/family as well 
I am curious as to what method you used to actually kill him? I ask because we are going to becoming more self sufficient over the next couple of years, and while I have had goats, chickens, ducks, turkeys, and hunted and fished my whole life, I have never butchered the goats (we kept them for dairy) though I am VERY familiar with butchering chickens. We currently have chicks, ducklings, and 3 horses, and in the next couple years when we move to our own property, intend on getting a couple dairy goats, a milk cow, and a couple pigs. But we definitely intend on butchering the calves when they mature (or selling them if they are heifers), and my husband and I have been “discussing” methods of the actual killing part. Hope you are having a great weekend! From your new fan in Wyoming
Hi Wyoming friend!
We shot him and then quickly cut his throat after he went down so the blood would drain out as fast as possible. We then gutted and skinned, and allowed the sides to hang for several days. We have a series of DVDs that are super helpful in the process– I did a review of them here: http://www.theprairiehomestead.com/2012/02/review-ask-the-meatman-butchering-dvds.html
Hope that helps a bit!
Thank you! I will definitely look into those! Thank you for taking the time to respond, I definitely appreciate it!