I’ve had a job since I was 13 years old. I’ve held many jobs over the years, in many places. Many were intense and required extreme time commitments. And, I’ve had many life experiences through out the course of these jobs; many of the lessons were good, though there were definitely some trials…
I like to work. Always have. It just feels good to me. I love manual labor and seeing the work of my hands.
I quit my most recent job when I became pregnant with our daughter in the fall of 2009. It was a job I enjoyed, and I was sad to quit. However, I felt deeply called to be a stay at home mom and full time homemaker.
At first, I struggled with the feelings that many stay at home moms face…
What is my purpose? Will our finances be ok? What if I become bored?
I’m a hyper driven person. I like to be busy at all times, almost to the point of being stressed out, but not quite. During my years of working out of the home, I generally attempted to keep many balls in the air at once. I tried to maintain my hobbies, keep a clean and organized house, and cook regular meals (although my definition of food was very different back then!). All while working full time (or more…).
This resulted in me feeling completely frazzled and scattered most of the time! But, I became so used to it, that it was my normal. I didn’t know how to feel any other way.
As of right now, I have been at home for over a year. It’s been a gradual process, but I have finally started to un-wind.
Now- don’t misunderstand me. I am still busy. An active baby, horses to ride, a garden to tend, goats to milk, pens to clean, lawns to mow, traditional meals to prepare, and the list goes on…
I am far from sitting around the house and eating bon-bons all day!
But, in the process of learning to be a mama and homemaker, I have learned to s l o w d o w n.
It’s a good thing. A healthy thing.
I used to roll my eyes at people who seemed to take joy in the “simple” (or in my mind, “trivial”) things in life. For some reason, I thought that the ability to cherish the little things in life must mean you are simple minded.
I’ve now come to realize that nothing could be farther from the truth.
There is a freedom and a wisdom that comes from being able to (or in my case, learning how to) experience a thrill from the mere scent of fresh country air or standing outside during a gentle summer rain and letting your skin catch the raindrops. In my opinion, that is truly living. Not just existing, but living.
The other morning as I drank my hot cup of tea (yes, I’ve become one of “those tea people”… Never thought that would happen either!), I caught myself looking out the window at the quiet, gently falling snow. Such a simple moment, but it just gave me goosebumps all over.
Never before during any other stage of my life would have I had the ability to actually slow down long enough to enjoy such a moment.
And that is when I realized that I have become one of those simple people.
And it sure does feel good.